S14 Ep 731: The Marvelous Mind of Mark Simmons
Chatabix
Big Oval Plate
4.8 • 3.4K Ratings
🗓️ 12 November 2025
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Picking up from yesterday’s episode and the subject of miserable colds, Joe tells David about a reliable remedy that the comedian Mark Simmons uses to fight off the winter bugs. Then, after discussing how much they love Mark’s stand-up and his brilliant and very quick off-the-cough one liners, they decide to find out if they’re any good at coming up with some themselves. After a few early successes, they soon realise that it’s a little harder than they thought - but plough on regardless.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I'm |
| 0:02.0 | . |
| 0:03.0 | I'm |
| 0:04.0 | . |
| 0:05.0 | . Hi. |
| 0:21.6 | Hi. |
| 0:38.1 | Hi. |
| 0:40.7 | Well, I'll tell you what I was going to say. |
| 0:45.4 | Mark Simmons on his podcast, you know Mark Simmons' podcast. |
| 0:49.8 | He said this thing years ago about how he never has a cold. |
| 0:51.1 | Right. Because he uses this stuff called First Defence. |
| 0:53.9 | Yeah. |
| 0:55.0 | So I started getting a cold about four to five days ago. |
| 0:58.0 | So I bought this first defence and I shot it on my nose. |
| 1:02.0 | And it literally killed the germs and I've done it every day. |
| 1:07.0 | But then I've realised I've now got the cold anyway. |
| 1:10.0 | But it's like this poison you put up your nose. |
| 1:13.9 | But you're ill. |
| 1:14.9 | I know, that's what I'm saying, I've realised why I'm now ill. |
| 1:18.5 | So as it works. |
| 1:21.2 | But it stayed, it kept out of bay for four days. |
| 1:25.9 | Because the rest of me, I... |
... |
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