S1 Ep75: If You're Not Paying the Bills, What ARE You Doing? Feat. Cocktales

Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

LOVERS by shan

Sexuality, Society & Culture, Relationships, Health & Fitness

5 • 5.5K Ratings

🗓️ 7 June 2023

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you’re a podcast listener, you already know that there’s a whole lot of discussions about what people don’t do in relationships, what they need to be doing, and insight on what romantic partners want from others.

And I guess it’s all well and good to have standards, but it’s even better to:

Be aware of which standards are based on what we actually need to have a quality romantic partnership vs which standards are based on discriminatory, outdated values that hurt others AND our chances at forming healthy partnerships.

Be clear about what standards people can hold you to. In short, what exactly are you bringing to the romantic relationship table and furthermore what are you admitting that you won’t be carrying?

In this episode, I am discussing this in a hilarious and honest conversation with the ladies of Cocktales.

We also have THE Matchmaking Duo here to share the secret to finding a compatible long term
partner.

Here is your conversation starter pack:
What are you enthusiastically bringing to a romantic relationship today?
What are you interested in getting better at bringing?
What do you know you can’t and probably won’t carry?
How do you want your romantic partner to respond to you when you’re not meeting their standards?
How do you plan to respond when they inevitably, don’t meet all of yours?
Which are your deal breakers and where considering your answers to the top questions can you stand to do a lil bending?

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!
Ritual:

Visit ritual.com/LOVERS to start Ritual or add Synbiotic+ to your subscription today and get 10$ off your first 3 months.

HelloFresh:

Go to Hellofresh.com/lovers16 for 16 free meals plus free shipping!

Follow Shan:
https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram
https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng
[email protected]

Follow the ladies of Cocktales:
https://www.instagram.com/kikisaidso/
https://www.instagram.com/cocktalespodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/coffeebeandean/

Follow the Matchmaking Duo:
https://www.instagram.com/thematchmakingduo/

Follow Krizia:
https://www.instagram.com/kriziacruz_/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	And that's why when you see the arguments on Instagram, everybody's mad.
0:02.8	But it's like, you don't need to be mad.
0:04.5	You need to be, you need to understand what you offer and what you can bring.
0:08.3	And it's okay if you don't know or if what you bring isn't a lot.
0:11.9	Know who you're with and that might be enough for them.
0:14.7	Do you guys have a clear answer to that question?
0:16.5	Like, what do you bring?
0:20.0	To a relationship?
0:22.0	If you're a podcast listener, you already know.
0:25.2	There's a whole lot of discussions about what people don't do in relationships,
0:28.9	what they need to be doing, and insight on what romantic partners truly want from each other.
0:35.0	The first one is fine, right?
0:38.3	You have to look good.
0:39.3	Yeah.
0:40.3	Second one, you have to be fit.
0:41.3	Men want a woman who's fit.
0:44.3	A third thing is that, especially if he wants to have kids, you have to be fertile.
0:48.3	You know, if he wants to have kids, he wants to feel like he can have children with you.
0:52.3	And then feminine.
0:54.5	Like I said, I think if most guys want a woman, if he's a dance partner who's a
1:00.2	willingful, eager participant.
1:02.7	And then the last thing I would also add is friendliness.
	...

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