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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch, an in-depth look at the archers with me, Jeff Thomas, Lucy Freeman, James Everett and Matt Rodriguez-Pain.

Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge.

We began the week with Burns Night and that perennial archers bleat at every

event that teeters on the brink of disaster. Oh no, but what are we going to do now? As Jazz's

bagpipes burst to seam. Eddie had provided the caber from a gardening job so someone's

Climatus arch has got a distinct list now. Rex Fairbrother has now become

village hunk, having taken over from Chris Carter, who has now become a bit of a hoe obsessed

with the apps, and is also the major suspect in an assault case. So as far as I'm concerned,

Rex is now top of the list for an uncomplicated bunk up with big muscles, as long as you don't mind the fact that he keeps saying the word brawn.

Esme hasn't got TB, which is good, but Ruth ignored that and told her to stop being cheerful as it could happen again at any time.

And it was a nightmare that came round every six months, as opposed to Ruth, who's a nightmare who comes round every other evening.

Just when Esme didn't think life could get any more jolly, George turned up and did his,

thank you for much of his person, business, and appeared to make a good impression.

At last, Neil had put two and two together and realised that George was desperate for a job and Esme was desperate for someone to do a job.

Only took five weeks that. Well done, everybody.

However, later it was Ruth's turn on the rotor to spend the evening with Esme.

So off she went. Poor Esme. I mean, I know she waves to Ruth and David out of the kitchen window

while they look after her farm for her, but I still think a nightly visit from one or both of them

...