Revenge: The High That Hurts

The Dr. Phil Podcast

Dr. Phil McGraw

Mental Health, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 13.2K Ratings

🗓️ 29 May 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if the urge to get even isn’t just emotional—but addictive? Kevin, a devoted father and minister, says the betrayal of his marriage left him in pieces—even after winning full custody and a $750,000 judgment in court when he sued his ex-wife’s lover for breaking up their marriage. Dr. James Kimmel, author of “The Science of Revenge: Understanding the World's Deadliest Addiction--and How to Overcome It”, joins Dr. Phil to explain how the need for revenge hijacks the brain like a drug—and why so many people get stuck in a destructive loop long after the pain has passed. Through a five-step process called the “nonjustice system,” Dr. Kimmel works with Kevin to help him break free from grievance and finally reclaim his peace. Dr. Phil breaks down the emotional science of revenge, the illusion of justice, and the power of choosing healing over hatred. More: https://www.jameskimmeljr.com/

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Thanks for joining me today on the Dr. Phil Podcast. Your participation is a huge part of our success.
0:06.0	So if you haven't already, please be sure to follow and subscribe. You know how to do that. Just click the button down there so you can find us on all podcast platforms and YouTube.
0:17.0	That way you won't miss a thing. Have you ever been hurt by someone's betrayal?
0:22.6	Maybe someone lied, cheated, or ruined your reputation,
0:25.6	and it got under your skin so much that you just could not let it go.
0:31.6	You couldn't stop thinking about getting even.
0:36.6	That urge for revenge can feel powerful. It can even feel addictive,
0:43.3	where you just want to think about it. But did you know that your brain actually gets hooked on it?
0:49.3	On tonight's Dr. Phil podcast, my good friend, Dr. James Kimmel, explains how revenge lights
0:58.0	up your brain just like cocaine, trapping you in a cycle of reliving the pain.
1:07.0	When I say it lights it up, I'm saying the same pathways, the same pleasures enters, your
1:11.9	brain reacts the same way as if you take a hit of a drug.
1:16.7	Now, we'll meet Kevin.
1:18.3	After his wife's affair, he sued her lover and he won big.
1:23.0	But seven years later, he says he's still stuck, divorced and unable to move on.
1:30.3	So with Dr. Kimball's expertise, can we help Kevin finally break free, finally get out of this stuck pattern?
1:39.3	Well, let's find out, because we're going to get into it.
1:43.3	Have you ever been so hurt, so blindsided by betrayal, that you just could not stop thinking about making them pain?
1:52.3	Revenge actually lights up your brain just like if you were taking cocaine.
1:58.1	Dr. Kimball invited Kevin into his miracle court
2:02.6	to move people from pain to peace.
2:05.3	It was harder than I thought it was gonna be.
	...

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