Donald Trump took time off from his busy schedule running for president and trying to stay out of prison by pitching his brand new

Trump high-top sneakers at Philadelphia's aptly named

Sneaker Khan.

Isn't that great?

Trump on Saturday launched a pair of high tops at sneaker Khan. How appropriate. They're called

Never Surrender high tops because Trump supporters wearing these sneakers

never surrender unless they're walking up half a flight of

stairs in which case they stop midway sit for a spell and say you know on

second thought maybe I'll take the elevator.

Trump's gold-plated high tops are marketed a little differently with the smallest one

coming in at a size 14, since Trump voters like to delude themselves into believing their

penis isn't microscopic. I mean let's be honest if any of these Trump voters

had a fully functioning penis that got serviced on a regular

basis.

You think they'd be voting for Donald Trump?

But in all fairness, it's a pretty good looking pair of sneakers.

I mean, I'd wear them if I was dressing on Halloween

as the bouncer at a New Jersey strict club that only caters to Saudi Arabian

businessmen. I wonder if the sneakers are made in China like all those patriotic red ties and

make America great hats Trump sells to all his China-hating supporters and this is

just the beginning.

Next month, Trump launches his version of Air Jordans.

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