Welcome to Roll, let's roll, never get their control.

They've got their money, but we've got our soul.

Let's roll, let's roll, never get their control.

It's ain't got their money, but we've got our soul.

Welcome to Redacted Tonight. This is the comedy show where Americans in America covering American news are called foreign agents.

Okay, by now, pretty much everyone knows the latest stimulus bill is a giant middle finger to Americans.

It gives billions to weapons contractors, regime change programs, the Israeli military,

and even people who own race horses. I'm not kidding. I would be less angry if the bill had a

stipulation allowing the eating of race horses.

But only if you're hungry, you can't just do it out of spite.

That's shitty.

I think we can all agree that in the American government,

Congress is basically pit filled with mentally challenged hungry crocodiles.

And I know that's being generous, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt.

So whenever a president, let's pretend, it's a fantasy world, pretend it's a fantasy world

where the president isn't a moron.

When he wants to get something done, he writes it up what he wants, and then he drops the pages

into the idiot crocodile pit.

The crocs, then chew it up, swallow it, digest it, and then shit it out everywhere.

And that's the end of that.

Do they teach that in high school civics?

They should.

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