Reclaiming Your Identity After Narcissistic Abuse

CLEANING UP YOUR MENTAL MESS with Dr. Caroline Leaf

Dr. Caroline Leaf

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 3.2K Ratings

🗓️ 16 July 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you've ever felt trapped, confused, or emotionally drained by someone who constantly makes everything about them—this episode is for you.

I'm joined by world-renowned narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula to explore the reality of narcissistic relationships and how to recover from their impact. We talk about:

What narcissism really is (and isn’t)
The signs of emotional abuse most people overlook
Why reclaiming your identity requires radical acceptance
What healing actually looks like — with or without going no-contact
Why some people stay — and how to survive if you do
How parents can navigate narcissistic adult children
The role of love bombing, guilt, and control
What makes healing harder — and how to make it easier

Dr. Ramani breaks down practical ways to protect your peace, build emotional clarity, and rebuild your self-worth.

📌 Timestamps

00:41 Reclaiming Your Identity After Narcissistic Abuse

01:57 The Importance of Taking a Break from Dating

04:35 Defining Narcissism

10:25 Understanding Narcissistic Relationships

14:41 The Healing Process and Radical Acceptance

17:45 Challenges of Staying in a Narcissistic Relationship

20:39 Understanding Narcissistic Relationships

20:57 The Importance of Being Prepared

21:44 Challenges of Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship

22:26 The Role of Community and Support

24:17 The Power of Love Bombing

26:46 Navigating Narcissistic Dynamics in Parenting

33:44 Programs and Resources for Healing

36:44 Final Thoughts and Advice

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Transcript

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0:00.0	It's so great to see you again, Dr. Romani.
0:12.3	I'm really excited about every time I talk to you, I learn something new.
0:16.1	And this is such an important topic.
0:18.1	You're a specialist with explaining how narcissism works and
0:21.9	what to do. It's a topic that comes up all the time. So I'm thrilled to have you on the show again.
0:27.2	Thank you. I get asked this question so much and I know my listeners are thrilled because now we have
0:31.5	the expert in the house. So welcome. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. And thank you
0:36.7	for taking on this topic.
0:38.3	Of course, absolutely. Okay, well, let's start. Dr. Romani, many people walk away from narcissistic
0:43.6	relationships feeling like they've lost themselves. You know, that's the comment that I get a lot.
0:48.5	What's the first step to reclaiming your identity after an emotional abuse?
0:53.6	Well, I think the first thing is that to acknowledge, yes, you did lose yourself.
0:56.5	Because in order for that relationship to work, you had to lose yourself.
0:59.9	It was sort of the price of admission.
1:02.0	And so it's not an illusion.
1:03.4	I think that a lot of people think that's something almost poetic.
1:05.9	I've lost myself.
1:06.6	No, no, you literally lost yourself.
1:09.0	So getting yourself back is a slow sort of a process and I think that there is often you know I was recently talking with someone and they were talking about a case of somebody who's gone through such a relationship and they were talking about it as they feel like they've betrayed themselves right a lot of people say I betrayed myself I said no no no let's be clear on say, I betrayed myself. I said, no, no, no, let's be
1:28.5	clear on this. They betrayed you. And you were attempting to say, attached to someone with whom you
1:34.9	were not clear that the price of attachment was that you gave up on yourself and bring people to a very,
1:41.7	very, again, that radical acceptance, that term we use, like,
	...

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