My partner's words don't meet up with his actions. What do I do?

Welcome to the Real Talk Recovery Podcast with the therapy brothers. We're brothers, we're therapists and we know recovery. Bring your stories, your questions, your successes with real recovery.

My partner's words don't meet up with his actions. What do I do?

It's a good one, Brandon. We're going to talk a little bit about I think congruency and boundaries today, but before we get into that, we do have another review, really nice review here.

It just says recovery. It says, I found this podcast after hearing Tyler and Brandon on a different podcast. These two model empathy while providing real tools for recovery. Tyler brings a grounded humility that makes this podcast really inspiring for me. Brandon is the expert with a little winky face.

I can feel that their heart is in this work. Seven months into recovery. I'm working for my real masculinity, becoming a wholehearted person and acting on my values. My wife and I found a marriage counselor is helping us to reconcile after our separation.

Awesome. Thank you so much. That's really kind.

Yeah, love that review. I'm glad to hear that you're doing your work, too. That's always what we like to see and feel like we're helping with. So thank you.

He threw in there working on his masculinity, which is awesome. One of my favorite things.

Well, we have a guest here today. I think she's going to bring a lot of questions that a lot of people wonder about. And so I think the questions that she has are really pertinent to a lot of people. So I'm glad that she's here willing to have the courage to come and ask them. So Liz, welcome to the show.

Hi.

Good to have you.

Thanks.

So if you would like, just start out with a little bit of background as to what's going on with you and then ask away.

All right.

See, we've been married for almost 10 years. We have two small kids.

About five years ago, right after my first was born, I discovered something in his journal.

And I brought it to his attention. And he was remorseful and basically said it won't ever happen again. And we kind of left it that for a while.

We did counseling on and off for a while marriage counseling.

About two years later, I found more of it.

He had by then joined 12 step and had written out his step one, which basically is the whole history.

And I found that and I read it and was blindsided by everything, not the past, not just past behaviors, but current behaviors.

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