You're listening to Song Exploder, where musicians take apart their songs and piece by piece, tell the story of how they were made.

I'm Rishikesh Herway.

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This summer, in June 2023, Janelle Monet put out her fourth album, The Age of Pleasure.

Listening to it made me want to revisit her Song Exploder episode from 2018.

One thing on Song Exploder that I love personally is when we get to hear an artist's raw voice memo

from the moment when they're first coming up with a song idea, and this episode has one of my all-time favorites.

Janelle Monet is an award-winning musician and actress who released her first record in 2007.

She's been nominated for multiple Grammys and she starred in the Oscar films Moonlight and Hidden Figures.

In April 2018, she released her third album, Dirty Computer, which includes this song, So Afraid.

In this episode, Janelle Monet takes So Afraid apart and explains how she built it step by step.

Beginning with a trip to the dentist.

This is Janelle Monet.

It was October 13th, 2015.

I had a toothache, and I was on the way to the dentist.

I had just finished working on a song, and I was in a very introspective mood at the time, asking myself questions around my fears, around my anxieties.

And what does it feel like to be afraid of many things, to be afraid of loving myself, to be afraid of forgiving those who have hurt me, being afraid of falling in love, being vulnerable.

But I was dealing with a toothache, and it was kicking my ass.

...