Episode 476 – Is Quitting Drinking Hard?

Today we have Tonya. She is 50 and lives in St Paul, MN. She took his last drink on August 21^st, 2021.

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[02:30] Thoughts from Paul:

Is quitting drinking hard? It can be, yes but if you have a drinking problem, quitting drinking is way easier than riding alcohol off into the sunset of self-destruction.

Here are some reasons why it can be a challenge:

1) Your body has to detoxify itself form the chemical alcohol.

2) You are going to have to learn some new routines and make new habits.

3) You need to start building friendships where alcohol isn’t the foundation.

4) Accept that boredom is a normal and healthy life experience.

Here are some glorious truths about quitting drinking:

1) After 14-21 days you are going to get out of the brain fog and want more of the new “good-feeling” thing.

2) No more checking message to see what you said the night before, you’ll remember the book you read, less sick days at work, and more money in your bank account.

3) Your dopamine system rebalances.

4) You are living life at face value and when we do that, we can start to build the life that no longer requires alcohol.

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[10:27] Kris introduces Tonya:

Tonya has been married for 21 years and they have two children who both attend the University of Minnesota. She recently left the corporate world to be an in-home professional organizer. She enjoys her work as well as cooking, tending her plants and in recovery she is always up for trying new things.

Tonya was born into a deeply religious family. They attended church daily along with going to school there. She says they were forced to pray for forgiveness everyday which left her feeling like a bad person.

Tonya didn’t drink until college because she didn’t want to be like her father who was an alcoholic. There was typical college-age partying, but Tonya says she always went a little further than everyone else. Some of her behavior led to losing friends and being seen as a liability on their travels. As she got older and wanted to get married and have kids, she was able to slow the drinking down a bit, but still drank heavily while out of town for work.

Having postpartum depression after her daughter was born, Tonya found she was using alcohol to cope with life. Over time her family started becoming concerned about her drinking, so she went to rehab for the first time. She didn’t end up being able to quit and struggled with the AA program. She would attend rehab five more times and while she learned a lot about the psychology and science behind alcohol and addiction, she didn’t actually quit.

Shortly after her 2^nd DWI, Tonya lost her job for reasons that didn’t include alcohol although she admits she was physically addicted and drinking on the job. Unable to find another job she ended up sinking into her drinking and says she spent a year doing nothing else. After nearly ending her life, she realized that she didn’t want to do that to her daughter. She was at the end of her rope and ready to give recovery and AA another try. Tonya started going to different AA meetings and got a sponsor. She is grateful that she found community because she knows she couldn’t have done it on her own.

Tonya’s favorite resource in recovery: Everything AA app, the AA and RE communities.

Tonya’s parting piece of guidance: Time. Things will get better in time. One day at a time. Get involved in community.

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I love you guys.