Episode 446 – Go Easy on Yourself

Today we have Jonathan. He is 44 from Grand Forks, ND and took his last drink on May 17^th, 2008.

Our six week Ditching the Booze mindfulness course starts Monday, September 18^th and meets on Monday nights at 8:30 PM EST. This course is included with Café RE membership and is for Café RE members only.

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[02:24] Highlights from Paul:

Straying from the sometimes-complex intros, Paul urges us to go easy on ourselves.

Despite all of our agricultural, scientific, and technological innovations, this is the hardest time it has ever been to be a human being. Rates of addiction and overdoses are soaring. Dr. Gabor Mate’s book The Myth of Normal shows how our out of balance culture is creating mountains of unrest and disease.

Life is already a challenge and living in the modern world without substances to slow down the prefrontal cortex, it is even harder.

Go easy on yourself. Life is going to kick your ass at some time or another. Don’t let that Bruno voice in the head make it any worse. Once that voice starts chirping about how you should have done XYZ differently, and how you’re doomed for eternity, locate the true you and tell that Bruno voice to step aside, and you’ll take it from here.

Be sure to start your day with words of compassion. Compassion for you, those nearest to you, the animals outside your window, and for those who are still struggling with alcohol.

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[8:11]: Kris introduces Jonathan:

Jonathan is 44 years old and lives in Grand Forks, ND. He has worked in the restaurant industry most of his life and is also the managing director for the office of Recovery Reinvented. For fun Jonathan likes to spend time outside and cook. He is married and they have three daughters.

Jonathan says he had a good childhood with a lot of parental support. He feels like his exposure to alcohol as a teenager was normal. He says drinking never got in the way of his grades or playing sports. While in college Jonathan started working in bars and restaurants where drinking is part of the culture. His drinking increased and he ended up dropping out of school.

Jonathan realized early on that his drinking looked different from his peers. He witnessed others being able to stop with a few drinks after work whereas he would just go to the next bar or go home and keep the party going. He didn’t think he was drinking to mask anything, so he didn’t have a problem, he just really enjoyed drinking.

While Jonathan was doing well in his career, his drinking increased. He opened his first restaurant when he was 27 and was very successful. People were starting to tell Jonathan that he should cut back but he struggled to do so.

Jonathan had a meeting with his business partner and his father where he was told that things needed to change, or the partnership was going to end. This is what it took for Jonathan to seek treatment. He went to inpatient treatment for 30 days. While there he went from feeling like this was a temporary change to realizing that he needed it to be long term. He started seeing the similarities with others instead of the differences.

Jonathan completed 30 days and continued with outpatient treatment. He made the decision to be transparent with his recovery. He feels that helped him stay accountable and sober.

Jonathan’s favorite resource in recovery: I Am Sober app (he likes seeing how much money he has saved).

Jonathan’s parting piece of guidance: “Everything that is good in my life today is in my life because alcohol is not.”

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We took the elevator down, we have to take the stairs back up

You can do this.

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