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The Mel Robbins Podcast

Raw and Refreshing Advice on Navigating Anxiety, Insecurity, Popularity, & Peer Pressure in Your Teenage and 20-Something Years

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.810.6K Ratings

🗓️ 14 September 2023

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lately, I’ve been getting a ton of questions from listeners about how to best support high schoolers and 20-somethings. There are lots of questions about anxiety, peer pressure, and getting young adults to open up. So, in this episode, I have a pile of your questions in front of me as my son, Oakley, and I go through them rapid-fire style, so you get both of our perspectives on the topics everyone worries about but is too afraid to talk about. I have to say, Oakley really showed up for this conversation for you. He has hilarious and heartfelt thoughts on topics he has first-hand experience with. We cover it all. From academic pressure to body image to bullying, this conversation is full of tools and strategies and is raw, unfiltered, and filled with relatable stories (and only a few f-bombs). You will learn: What teens and 20-somethings really need (and don’t need) from their parents. (If you only get one thing from this episode, make it this…) How to encourage the young men in your life to open up. The ONLY thing you need to do when your young adults come home in a bad mood. How to get unhooked from toxic popularity and cliques and find your people in school or in life. 3 smart strategies to use when your child is getting bullied that will strengthen your bond with your kid. An 18-year-old's surprising take on when to give your kid a cellphone. The must-use hacks for introverts who want to be more confident in school. How to get your kid to do chores (and still like you). Strategies for handling your kid’s anxiety without yelling or freaking out. The best way to navigate curfews and late-night parties with your teen. I can’t wait for you to hear this. I loved the questions and the advice. And as a mom, I couldn’t be more proud of Oak for how much wisdom he shared. I’d love for you to listen with your teens and 20-somethings. In fact, at the end of the episode, Oakley gives specific advice (including exactly what to say) to get your kids to listen. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:20: Why is it so hard to get my teen to open up to me? 4:00: Your kids need quiet time at these two times of the day. 7:22: Here’s what to say to start a conversation with your child. 9:30: How should your kids handle clique groups? 11:00: How can you tell who "your" people are? 12:15: Three strategies to help your kid deal with hurtful behaviors. 17:30: What teens need (and don’t need) from their parents. 21:45: At what age do you think your teen should have a phone? 23:30: My high school senior has no idea what she wants to major in. 26:00: Two best hacks for introverted teens everywhere. 28:45: How can you help your kids find their friends? 34:00: My teen is a senior in high school, but he still has chores at home. 36:30: Oakley gives you a peek into his own anxiety to help your anxious teen. 41:20: How do you reassure your kid when he’s dyslexic? 42:45: The gold-standard tutoring program we used to help Oakley with his dyslexia. 44:20: Two simple hacks that have made a big difference for Oakley in school. 45:30: The two qualities I think of first when it comes to curfews. 47:00: Here was my #1 desire for my Vermont home when it came to my kids. 49:40: I literally sat Oakley’s friends down and laid down two rules for hanging out. 52:40: So how do you get your teen to listen to this interview? Want more resources? Go to my podcast resource page at melrobbins.com/podcast. Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, it's your friend, Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

0:08.0

Today, we are answering your questions, and I say we, because I've invited our 18-year-old son,

0:14.5

Oakley Robbins, on to the podcast, because so many of the questions that I'm getting from

0:20.0

listeners around the world are related to either the teens or young adults in your life.

0:25.2

You're worried about them. You want to know how to connect with them. You're worried about their

0:29.2

anxiety about things that are going on at school or in college, and so I thought, why don't we just

0:35.1

get Oakley in the seat? And Oak, you can do your best to explain what the average teenager or young

0:43.2

adult is thinking as we answer questions from people around the world, okay? Sounds great.

0:48.2

All right, anything else that you think people should know before we jump in? I'm psyched to be here.

0:52.5

Super glad to be back. Oh my gosh, I'm psyched to be back too. All right, so here's how it's going to roll.

0:58.7

I have a stack of literally several hundred questions, and these are just, it's very thick, yeah.

1:05.4

A sample of the ones that we've got in the last 48 hours. Oakley has not seen these questions.

1:13.5

And are we going? We're just going. We're just going. We're just going. Perfect. Let's go for it.

1:17.6

All right, great. Here's the first one. Why is it so hard to get my sons to talk? When my 18-year-old

1:23.9

is upset, he stops talking to all of us. I think for some people, I mean, everybody processes like

1:32.4

annoyance and anger differently. And I mean, I'm no experts, I call it just, but I feel like

1:40.0

sometimes the way that men or boys can process anger is they need time to themselves, and they don't

1:48.8

want to talk about it. It's also a bit of a norm for men to just be closed off in general,

1:55.8

and not really share how they feel in general. And he may be falling under that category,

2:02.1

which is a possibility because boys at high school don't like to share how they feel most of the time.

2:08.0

Why? A sign of weakness, I guess. A worry that to show how you truly feel if you're upset or

2:15.7

angry, it's not masculine, which is a word that people throw around, but I think that it's not

...

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