Quarantine USA!

Matt D’Elia Is Confused

Matt D'Elia

Society & Culture

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 18 March 2020

⏱️ 66 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Matt goes solo this week to discuss the one thing that’s on everyone’s mind at the moment— the goddamn coronavirus pandemic. He covers a lot, including but not limited to: the conflicting updates we’re constantly getting about the virus, the difficulty some of us have with being alone during this stressful time, the dumbshit morons who are still going to the beach despite the present pandemic, the complete assholes who have been hoarding toilet paper and hand sanitizer, and the awful kid who breathed on Matt’s shopping cart at the supermarket. But most importantly, he gives us the simple advice we all need to get through these quarantine days peacefully, in one piece, and without panicking. Listen now. You have nothing else to do anyway.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Not to the young, it's going to be. Hello and welcome to Matt Delia is confused. This is Matt Delia and this is a solo episode. Let's see what's been going on in the world.
0:27.0	Oh yeah.
0:37.4	Coronavirus, it's the only thing to talk about it.
0:41.0	I think it's the only thing I'm going to talk about this week
0:45.2	and it's changing actually you know what hang on let me start here I have a theory and my
0:52.1	theory is that less than half of the people in in America
1:00.0	know what's going on right now and to anybody who does know what's going on right now.
1:05.0	And to anybody who does know what's going on, that everyone is like no way, no way, no way, no way, no way,
1:09.0	no way, no way, way.
1:12.0	That's what they tell me.
1:13.7	Everyone who I say my theory to, everyone shuts me down, but I'm telling you, just like I tell
1:19.0	them, I'm fucking sure it's true
1:24.8	then after I'm fucking tootting my horn about this theory of mine and nobody's
1:29.0	agreeing with me I
1:31.3	someone I forget even who sent it to me, sends me a tweet from a news station, a local news station in Florida that had chopper footage of a beach in clear water and it's like the fucking beginning of jaws before
1:51.1	anyone knows there's jaws. There's like hundreds of people crammed together and
1:58.0	from that aerial view it looks like
2:02.2	fucking packed sardines and these fucking dumb mother-fucking idiot
2:09.8	fucking dipshits obviously have no fucking idea how dumb they're being.
2:16.6	Look, I'm not alarmists.
2:21.3	In fact, I was early on before anybody here had it,
2:25.0	anybody in America had it.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Matt D'Elia, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Matt D'Elia and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.