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🗓️ 11 July 2021
⏱️ 3 minutes
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0:00.0 | So I'm sitting there listening intently to my client. I'm a young therapist at the beginning of my career |
0:06.3 | and I'm trying really hard to be a good therapist, you know, and I'm loving being a therapist. |
0:12.9 | I love helping people and I love seeing results and I also love the way each |
0:18.6 | session is like a puzzle or like a maze or I don't know a fascinating walk in the woods with |
0:25.1 | someone down a trail, a nice pleasant trail, fraught with all sorts of, you know, twists and |
0:32.8 | turns and with discovery and with with love and with pain, but ultimately with growth. How about |
0:43.4 | that for a metaphor? So I'm listening to my client and I feel like I'm doing really well. |
0:48.2 | I'm being empathic, I'm attentive, she's telling me about her emotional experience. Everything is |
0:54.6 | going according to plan. And then she says, and that's why you're a terrible therapist. And then |
1:01.7 | she really lays into me. She's super angry at me. She's not happy with me. And she knows exactly |
1:10.2 | what to say to hurt my feelings. She's insulting me. She's telling me that I'm too young, I'm |
1:15.7 | too this, I'm too that. I'm a terrible listener. I haven't listened to her at all. Everything I've |
1:21.6 | done up until that point has been wrong. And my breath has taken away and I start to panic. And |
1:28.0 | I'm thinking, what? I'm a terrible therapist. Wait, I thought I was doing a good job. She accuses |
1:34.4 | me of not knowing what I'm doing and if not really listening to her and of being a man who could |
1:40.7 | never understand her. I'm devastated and I'm terrified. And I suspect she's right. I'm a terrible |
1:47.0 | therapist. She's right about that. In this episode, I will provide a self analysis of my |
1:53.8 | counter-transference during that moment. This is a common psychodynamic practice to self-analys. |
2:00.2 | I will discuss what happened, my emotional reaction, what I did in the moment, my analysis of |
2:06.2 | myself, my self-analysis, my analysis of my client, my plan for future sessions, and the |
2:11.4 | eventual outcome. This episode is just for patrons of the podcast. So if you're listening to this |
2:18.3 | and you're not a patron of the podcast, this episode will end early. If you want to hear the full |
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