Processing the Unthinkable: Hours After Lewiston, Maine Neighborhood Mass Murder

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 30 October 2023

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Last Wednesday evening, October 25, 2023, Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Joshua Shea traded text messages as they often do on Wednesday to discuss whether or not they were going to meet virtually early Thursday morning as they continue to work on various projects around their best-selling book, “He’s a Porn Addict Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions.” The text conversations took an abrupt turn as Josh was alerted by an emergency broadcast on his phone and through social media that 40-year-old Maine National Guard reservist Robert Card went on two shooting rampages, killing 18 people and wounding 13 with the second only a mile away from Shea's home in Lewiston, Maine. Several days later, Josh and Tony get together to attempt to navigate the complex emotional landscape of discussing such a horrifying event, underscoring the importance of approaching the subject with the utmost sensitivity, empathy, and respect. Tony and Josh dive deep into Shea's personal experiences during the incident and its aftermath. As a former news reporter, Shea candidly shares the surreal emotional and psychological journey he took, contrasting his past experiences running towards crises as part of his job to now sheltering at home in fear and uncertainty. Shea reveals the emotional rollercoaster he's been on: from survivor guilt and concern for his family's safety to the struggles of processing such an immense tragedy, including what the future looks like when an event that we hear about unfortunately far too often actually happens in an area that you know so well. The conversation touches on the psychological toll of collective traumatic experiences, like 9/11 and the COVID-19 pandemic, and the long-lasting effects they have on individuals and entire communities.The episode wraps up with insightful conversations around coping mechanisms and the critical importance of mental health support in the wake of traumatic events. This episode serves as a sobering but necessary dialogue on the unpredictable nature of life and the importance of mental and emotional preparedness while understanding that everybody has their own experience and that there truly is no “correct” way to grieve. It's an episode that invites the audience not just to hear but to listen, reflect, and possibly find solace in shared human experiences.Please visit Tony's linktree to find out more about his various other projects or to sign up for his mailing list to get the latest on courses, podcasts, and more https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch (https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, everybody, welcome to the virtual couch. I am your host, Tony Overbay. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist.
0:06.1	And today's episode is truly a very special episode. Today I'm interviewing Joshua Shea, who is a friend and the co-author of our book,
0:15.3	he's a porn addict now what, an expert, and a former addict answer your questions. And it was during the writing of the book, which took quite a long time, no thanks to myself, that I got to know Josh pretty well.
0:24.9	And while I don't think that we necessarily would have just struck up a friendship just
0:28.3	naturally from bumping in each other on the street, but we've been working together now for
0:32.1	quite a while and we have developed a very strong friendship. I had Josh on my podcast early on, and he had written his first
0:38.4	book, I believe, right after coming out of rehab. And then a few months later, he approached me about
0:42.5	that he's a porn addict book project. And I am so glad he did, because you really get to know
0:46.4	somebody in writing a book together. And the book ended up being a bestseller for quite a while
0:51.0	in the sexual health and recovery category. And it's helped a lot of people.
0:54.5	And he and I recently finished up a project for TikTok, one of their new series, which is based on
0:59.4	the book where we go into more depth about the questions. I highly recommend you check that out.
1:04.0	But we meet roughly every week looking at potential projects. And then this past week,
1:08.2	we traded messages on Wednesday night to see if we were on for the Thursday morning meeting.
1:12.8	And Josh literally discovered that there was an active shooter still on the loose.
1:17.1	And if you've heard about it in Lewiston, Maine, who had already killed 18 people and wounded 13 others.
1:22.2	And the site of the second group of killings was less than a mile from his house.
1:26.6	So before we dive in, there's a few things
1:28.9	I want to address that we are going to talk about sensitive, complex topics, and they really
1:34.2	have real and immediate ramifications for a lot of people, including Josh, because I don't
1:38.7	think anybody wakes up in the morning expecting to find themselves a mile away from the site
1:42.2	of a mass murder, But that's what happened to
	...

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