Premium: How to Break Through Thought-Stopping Cliches

Gender: A Wider Lens

Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Mental Health

4.6 • 961 Ratings

🗓️ 12 October 2024

⏱️ 5 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.com

The idea of doubling down despite evidence to the contrary being so prevalent, not only in individuals but in institutions as well, is a defense mechanism, rooted in fear. The fear is often tied to high stakes, like personal identity, reputation, physical/mental health, or even financial performance and career stakes. There is a self-deception and rigidity in beliefs to protect oneself from the fear. There is an enormous emotional and psychological toll that comes with realizing one may have been wrong, especially on critical issues like gender and parenting. The fear response, as well as the difficulty in processing contradictory information, often stems from a profound sense of self-preservation.

In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Stella & Sasha discuss the power of exploring alternative perspectives with curiosity and openness, rather than reacting defensively to deeply held beliefs. They highlight how approaching self-awareness with interest instead of fear fosters a more compassionate and gentle path to personal growth. This method allows individuals to reflect without the pressure of feeling like their core identity is under threat.

When led by fear, people often double down to protect their identity or avoid discomfort. In contrast, approaching new ideas with interest encourages openness, making room for growth and deeper self-awareness. Stella and Sasha emphasize that the hardest part of evolving is often confronting the realization that we've misled ourselves or others, and that's where self-compassion becomes essential.

Watch our full length episode about the psychology of doubling down: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-188

For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi Widerlens Podcast listener. What you're about to hear is a preview of one of our bonus
0:05.9	episodes for premium subscribers.
0:08.2	If you'd like to hear the rest, head over to widerLens pod.com and sign up for any of our paid membership options.
0:14.8	Paid subscriptions allow us to continue to create high quality content for our
0:18.7	listeners all around the world. Now here's the preview of this week's exclusive content.
0:24.0	I've worked with people who have gone down
0:28.0	roads that they feel.
0:30.0	It's unbearable to think I shouldn't have gone down it and what I've found is the
0:35.4	most the easiest way to begin the process is to start off with not asking yourself
0:42.4	to change your mind it's could you begin to think, could you
0:46.2	begin to think about the fact that there are the other understandings, that there are alternative understandings.
0:54.0	So it would be like me and you Sasha saying,
0:56.0	could you begin to think, not that it is a fact,
0:59.0	but could you begin to think that there is actually validity in extremist activist positions.
1:06.1	Could you just put on that, could you wear that for a few minutes if you follow me and
1:11.8	just see what is it that arises within you you know what I mean because if it's fear you know to mean if it's a kind of a kind of a kind of a
1:20.4	almost irresistible urge to stop thinking. That would to me make me think actually this is about fear, rather than interest, if it was actual interest, well then I think you're probably in a good place,
1:38.4	just continue to explore what could be going down. But if it's fear, if there's a kind of a physical kind of reaction of stop talking, stop this person talking, I can't deal with it.
1:49.4	Then psychologically something, a defense mechanism is kicking in and therefore could you start exploring your fear.
1:58.0	Let's not talk about what you need to change or anything like that.
2:01.0	Let's just talk about the fear that arises when you start thinking of alternative
2:05.2	viewpoints. I think that would be a very healthy way for somebody to address the fact that maybe they might have lost their way. It's okay, we lose away in lots of different ways.
	...

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