Hi and welcome to PHQ, questions from the personality hacker community.

My name is Joel Mark Witt and I'm Antonia Dodge and let's get right to our

question this week. My question is how do we exercise our to our

question is how do we exercise our inner 10 year old in play? My inner 10 year old is

efficiency and I'm not clear how to engage it in play so it doesn't come out as defensiveness.

Thanks very much.

Hey, thanks for the question.

So our nickname for extroverted thinking is effectiveness, and so if that's your 10 year old

process then that would make you an EFP in the Meyersburg system and we talk a

lot about like our very I'm going to say the most basic

recommendation we give to people is to engage their 10 year old or what's technically

called their tertiary process in play as an antidote for using it in defense or for defensiveness.

And when we say defensiveness, what we really mean is the world is trying to give you a piece of information. It doesn't

necessarily have to be an argument with another human being. It could just be that the

world is trying to give you a piece of information that you don't want to hear

or you're not ready to hear or you just don't it'll get you out of

your comfort zone and so you're pushing it away and so you go to your 10 year old in order to

defend yourself against whatever that is. But that's the most basic advice we give on it

because the 10-year-old or tertiary process shows up in a lot of different ways

and a lot of different healthy ways other than just play. We also recommend that people use it for creating intimacy. We recommend

people use it as a motivational technique to add to whatever is their co-pilot process, their 10-year-old

process is also going to be a big part of what motivates them and gets them going.

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