Phone Jerks - !Christmas on the Floor!
In Our Headphones
KEXP
4.6 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 22 December 2021
⏱️ 2 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Phone Jerks - "!Christmas on the Floor!," a 2020 self-released single.
This week, we are continuing a long-held tradition of featuring Christmas-themed songs selected by Brian Foss, host of KEXP’s punk show Sonic Reducer. Brian has been doing a punk rock Christmas special every year since 2004 and has been a Christmas Day on-air DJ since 2012. He will be hosting his non-traditional Christmas broadcast from noon to 6pm on Saturday, December 25th and then will be back on air later that night for Punk Rock Xmess 2021 at 9pm. No standards are played, only original X-Mess songs, most with a humorous bent.
For a time of year where alcohol consumption is typically at its heaviest, we certainly don’t have enough Christmas songs about drinking. Well, Phone Jerks are here to rectify that. Last year, the Canadian quartet released their submission to the holiday drinking song canon with “!Christmas On the Floor!” The energetic garage rock tune harkens the familiar tale of a lover leaving you during the holidays but then paints a very vivid picture of the unhealthy coping mechanisms one might employ during those trying times.
“The fairy lights remind me I'm the saddest ever been,” laments one of the band’s three lead singers (I’m guessing Emily). “I tripped over Baby Jesus, broke the Nativity scene/ My glass keeps on refilling but I just don't know who poured/ Looks like I'll be spending another Christmas on the floor.”
While based in Canada, the Phone Jerks has a member who use to live in Seattle - Brian LaManna, who was in the alternative punk band The Valentine Killers. At the link below, watch live footage of Phone Jerks at the Maniac Mansion if Fredericton, New Brunswick in 2018.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I told you that I'd find a way to climb up that path |
| 0:16.0 | But I didn't have anything to do with this dead end |
| 0:21.0 | I said I'd start with a thought that wasn't gonna happen |
| 0:24.0 | I didn't have anything to do with this dead end |
| 0:27.0 | I was just sitting there wanting to get the dog |
| 0:30.0 | I said I'd be spending new the presents on the floor |
| 0:38.0 | I wanted them like me because they're the ones that we drink |
| 0:43.0 | They're standing in our heart because I didn't want to be here |
| 0:49.0 | I liked them like me, I was the one who's never been |
| 0:51.0 | I should probably be able to see the content of this hate |
| 0:54.0 | But I was doing my best to know what this is all he's made |
| 0:57.4 | And now the crissor's coming for what? |
| 0:59.2 | Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry |
| 1:03.9 | You're all so much of a kid, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry |
| 1:06.0 | And if a train gets by, it's fine, but if you leave it by the same |
| 1:09.4 | Cause the truth is that the problem is not an hour ago |
| 1:12.0 | So I've been sent to some heavy money, I don't know |
| 1:15.1 | Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry |
| 1:21.1 | I can't hold you, can't hold you, can't hold you |
| 1:25.0 | Will this runaway, it's fine, sorry, but if you leave it by the same |
| 1:30.4 | And if a train gets by, it's fine, but if you leave it by the same |
| 1:39.9 | Let's take the tour of a region, this oh, the memories |
... |
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