Part 7: Monica & Jess Love Goblins with Esther Perel

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Umbrella

Tv & Film, Music, Comedy

4.6 • 68.3K Ratings

🗓️ 25 March 2020

⏱️ 80 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In Part 7: Monica & Jess Love Goblins with Esther Perel, M and J are thrilled to welcome psychotherapist, Esther Perel to the attic. Esther makes the distinction between love and desire and she reminds them that having a lot of sex with many partners is equivalent to avoiding sex- both are methods to avoid rejection. Esther encourages Monica to let go of the goblin on her shoulder and she removes the phrase "losing feelings for" from the relationship vocabulary. The three talk about "want" vs. "should" and Esther is intrigued by Jess's interactions with "out of my league guy". Esther does exercises with M and J on how to spark desire and she gently tells them if they don't let go of their narratives, regardless of who they date, they will always be dating their narrative.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, I'm Monica, aka miniature mouse.
0:07.9	I love boys, but I don't have one.
0:12.1	And in fact, I've never had one.
0:14.8	I could probably count on two hands how many dates I've been on in my entire life, and
0:19.7	I decided it's time to change that.
0:22.4	Hi, I'm Jess and I love boys too.
0:25.5	And in the opposite way of Monica, I can't count on all the hands in America how many
0:29.6	people I've had sex with.
0:31.6	And yet, I still don't have a boyfriend.
0:34.5	And I want one.
0:35.5	And I'm Dax and I love Monica and Jess in so many ways.
0:39.9	They don't have partners.
0:41.5	And that is a huge mystery to me because they're both incredibly attractive, so fun, so
0:46.5	smart, and have so much to offer.
0:48.5	So what we decided to do is examine these unhealthy patterns and bring in experts and outsiders
0:53.6	to help critiquus, advise us, guide us, pretty much call bullshit on us so that we can
0:59.2	find the romantic companion that we're looking for.
1:02.2	We started this thinking it was going to be just cute little dating challenges that we
1:06.8	would go on and talk about and laugh about.
1:09.4	Turns out it is very hard to be vulnerable in real time in public.
1:13.8	Yes, so, so excited.
1:15.6	So long.
	...

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