The defensive response is, I am not irrational. You are the one who started this.

And now they say, See, you are proving my point. You walked right into the trap.

The fogging response is, I can see why it might look that way. Period.

End of sentence.

You have not agreed that you are irrational.

You have not conceded anything real.

You have simply acknowledged their perception without validating it as fact.

And you have left them with nothing to grab onto.

This takes practice because your ego is going to fight you on it.

Your ego wants justice. Your ego wants to be proven right. And I understand that.

But ask yourself honestly, how many arguments have you won with a toxic person? Real wins,

where they came back afterward and said,

You know what? You were completely correct and I was wrong.

It almost never happens.

Because they do not argue to discover truth.

They argue to dominate.

And if you play on their terms, on their battlefield, with their rule book, they will always

have the home field advantage.

Give them the small victory.

Keep your peace.

And then go build the life they told you you could not have.

We have talked a lot about how to behave when you are in the presence of a toxic person.

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