Erkin workers, listen up, your 401k is destroying the planet, I repeat, your 401k is literally

killing polar bears as we speak.

It's true, why would I lie?

What's that you say?

You just want to work hard and retire someday?

You think you can just grow old and then relax at some point and wait around until you

die?

Think again, 401k's are causing global warming and they're also racist probably, but there

is good news.

With the Greta Thunberg Financial Wealth Equity Foundation, we can manage your 401k without

polluting the oceans.

Trust your retirement account with Greta Thunberg, a 20-something high school dropout climate

change activist who knows a thing or two about how to manage your money.

So what if she has no experience with financial investing?

She has good intentions, and isn't that enough?

Of course it is, so what are you waiting for?

Transfer every dollar you've earned over to the Greta Thunberg Financial Wealth Equity Foundation

and rest better, knowing at night you're not a carbon fuel wasting right-wing fascist.

Because is there anything more important than earning the acceptance of young left-wing

activists?

We don't think so, and neither should you.