Parents who knock and then barge in? What secrets have been blown open in your house?

My son's doctor told me to start knocking on my son's door and waiting until he responds,

come in, at his 10-year-old checkup. I hadn't really thought about it before, but I made sure to do

just that. The only time I come in now is if I've knocked multiple times and I figure that he's

asleep. He'll fall asleep with his glasses and TV on, so I come in to take care of that.

I have a bolt lock on the inside of my door for this sort of situation after I'd be getting

dressed as a teen, and people would just wander in despite me putting a do-not-disturb sign on the door.

Knock, knock, don't come in, I'm getting dressed,

and door opens anyway. It happens so often in my teenage years. I always assumed the knock

meant to put your trouser equipment away. I'm coming in, and as a former teenager, I was always

ready to put my meat away at the slightest threatening noise. I had to move back in with

my folks after splitting from my wife. My mom tried to pull that crap on me, but I was smart

and the door was always locked. So instead I'd get, why is the door locked? Yeah, no crap,

why are you trying to budge in here? I could be undressed with my hairbrush up my butt for all you

know. Um, which end of the

hairbrush? I had a bed platform for a while, and it got very squeaky. I was cleaning one day,

reaching to my left, tossing on my right, the whole time squeaking the bed. My mom didn't knock

and immediately open. She just straight up burst through the door as quick as she could,

having approached it with stealth, whereas any other time she had dragged her feet through the hall like a sloth. What it did accomplish is it almost gave me a heart attack. I jumped nearly half a foot. It was that abrupt. Needless to say, I haven't been able to stop wondering what my mother was hoping to see. I can't even look at her without thinking she's some kind of creep. You hear your son's bed squeaking, so you sneak up and bust through the door?

Why? Yeah, there's a thought process going on there that I'm pretty sure escapes most reasonable

adults, and I'm not even sure she could explain why if she was asked. I'm just going to assume

she's part of that conservative part of society that simultaneously obsessed with bedroom activities and the policing thereof.

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