Parenting Through All Stages: When to Hold On & When to Let Go, with Dr. Jim Burns

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Jen Hatmaker

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.6 • 6.3K Ratings

🗓️ 31 July 2018

⏱️ 74 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Parenting is a lifelong job, even after our children have flown the coop and are tending their own broods. Throughout the various stages, from the early “no sleep” baby years to the endless carpool years, we barely have the bandwidth to think about next week, let alone the next few decades. But what happens when our kids grow up and start making their own decisions? How do parents lay the groundwork for happy, healthy relationships with their adult children? And how do we, as daughters and sons, honor our adult parents as we forge our own way in the world? Today’s conversation helps walk us through reframing our parental relationships. Dr. Jim Burns is an author and executive director of the HomeWord Center for Youth and Family at Azusa Pacific University. Dr. Burns tells us how parents can be a sounding board for their adult kids (without being a clanging bell). He also helps us think through scenarios like what do you do if your child partners up with someone you’re not crazy about, what kinds of boundaries to maintain if your child moves home, how to stay connected to a child who shuns a relationship with their parents, and how you, an adult child yourself, can create a healthy bond with your own parents.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi everybody, my name is Remy. Welcome to the For The Love Podcast with your host,
0:07.0	Jen Hatmaker, my mom. She writes books and speaks to
0:10.9	cows, but she mostly loves talking to amazing people on this podcast every week.
0:17.0	Thanks for listening. We hope you enjoyed the show.
0:20.0	Hey everybody, it is Jen Hatmaker, your happy hostess. On the For The Love Podcast,
0:26.0	super glad to have you today thrilled to bring you this next episode in our
0:32.0	parenting series. So if you've been around the podcast for a while, you do know
0:36.0	that I'd like to talk about a lot of stuff on here. So sometimes there are serious
0:39.0	things like restorative justice and egalitarianism and sometimes it's
0:44.0	sparkly earrings and enchiladas. You know, I'm kind of all over the map.
0:47.0	But that is life, a little serious, a little silly, and today's conversation
0:53.0	runs the gamut of a lot of these things because we are talking about what I
0:59.0	consider a very under-talked about discussion when it comes to parenting, which
1:05.0	is talking about parenting our kids as they're growing up and becoming adults.
1:10.0	Like, so if you know me, you guys have five kids. I've got a 20-year-old and 18-year-old
1:15.0	to 16-year-old. Like we are literally learning how to parent adult children this
1:19.0	very minute. And nobody talks about that a whole lot. And so this is kind of a
1:25.0	tricky subject and feel, it can feel really, really lonely. And so no matter where
1:31.0	you are in this, if you're not to that stage yet, if you're in the middle of it or
1:35.0	if it's in your rearview mirror, you know that there's some hard parts to it.
1:38.0	There's landmines and we really want to do this season well so that we end up
1:44.0	with healthy adult relationships with our kids. So we have a guide today that
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