4.8 • 41.1K Ratings
🗓️ 27 July 2021
⏱️ 58 minutes
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0:00.0 | Because we're adventurers in heartbreak so much. |
0:09.1 | Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. |
0:11.7 | Thanks for showing up. |
0:13.6 | Today we're talking about parenting. |
0:19.5 | So a lot of you know my story, how I became a parent. |
0:25.5 | 19 years ago I found myself on a cold bathroom floor holding a positive pregnancy test, |
0:32.9 | shaking from terror and a vicious hangover. |
0:38.6 | I was so broken, so alone, I'd been an addict for a decade and a half at that point. |
0:46.6 | And as addicts often do, I'd burn to every bridge in my life. |
0:49.2 | I just remember thinking there could not be any worse candidate for motherhood on earth |
0:54.8 | than me. |
0:57.2 | And yet I so badly wanted to become this one's mother. |
1:03.1 | It was the first thing I ever wanted more than I wanted to be numb. |
1:08.6 | And I stayed numb because being human just felt too brutal to survive. |
1:13.4 | It all, all of it just hurt too much. |
1:15.8 | But that day, staring at that test, I realized that there was beauty to be had too. |
1:24.1 | And that if I wanted this beautiful thing called motherhood, I was going to have to accept |
1:28.3 | the brutal too. |
1:30.3 | That life was brutal. |
1:33.1 | Both or nothing. |
1:36.4 | So that day, I got sober. |
1:38.6 | I decided to open myself up to love, to annihilation, to come back to a brutal life. |
... |
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