adults need to, if a kid is having difficulty meeting an expectation and figure out what's

getting in their way and the more they can involve the kid in that process, the better. And by the way,

I think you are being an authority figure much more when you're doing Plan B than when you're

doing Plan A. And I think you are holding kids accountable much better when you are engaging them

in the process of solving the problems that are affecting their lives than when they are simply

the passive recipients of our adult imposed consequences.

Hi, this is Dene. I'm the founder of Simple Families. Simple Families is an online community for

parents who are seeking a simpler, more intentional life. In this show, we focus on minimalism with kids,

positive parenting, family wellness, and decreasing the mental load. My perspectives are based

in my firsthand experience raising kids, but also rooted in my PhD in child development.

So you're going to hear conversations that are based in research, but more importantly,

real life. Thanks for joining us.

Hi there. Thanks so much for tuning in. That voice that you heard in the intro was Dr. Ross Green.

Some of you may know Dr. Ross Green as the author of the Explosive Child.

Now don't turn this off thinking that you don't have an explosive child.

Explosive is just a descriptive term for kids who become frustrated more easily.

And as Ross reflects on in this episode, if he could retitle this book,

he would call it something along the lines of things are challenging between the kid and the caregiver.

At its core, Ross's work addresses when children are unable, or maybe seemingly unwilling,

to meet the expectations of their parents, which is where a lot of parent child conflict is born,

unmet expectations, whether it's expectations around homework, cleaning up, staying calm.

When we have expectations that our children aren't meeting, we get frustrated.

...