Overcoming the Shame of Loving a Narcissist | Forgiving Your "Survival Self"
The Mental Healness Podcast
Lee Hammock
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 14 January 2026
⏱️ 17 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Why is the shame of staying often heavier than the pain of the abuse itself? In this episode, self-aware narcissist Lee Hammock explores the deep, internalized shame that survivors carry long after the relationship ends.
If you find yourself thinking, "How did I let this happen?" or "I’m embarrassed by how I acted," this session is for you. Lee pulls back the curtain on why narcissists intentionally use shame as a weapon to keep you isolated and why your "reactive abuse" wasn't a reflection of your character—it was a survival mechanism.
In this episode, we break down:
The "How Could I?" Trap: Why smart, strong people are often the primary targets for narcissistic manipulation.
Reactive Abuse vs. Who You Are: Understanding why you yelled, cursed, or "acted crazy" and why you need to stop blaming yourself for it.
The Isolation Effect: How the narcissist cuts you off from your support system so that shame becomes your only company.
Forgiving the "Past You": Practical steps to stop the self-inflicted mental beatdown and start the self-love journey.
Breaking the Secret: Why speaking your truth is the only way to kill the shame the narcissist planted in you.
You didn't choose the abuse, but you can choose to stop punishing yourself for surviving it.
Connect with Lee:
My Courses: https://courses.mentalhealness.net
Healing Support Group: https://mentalhealness.thinkific.com/products/communities/thementalhealers
1-on-1 Coaching Calls: https://mentalhealness1on1perspective.as.me/schedule/ec588030
Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesss
Transcript
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| 1:00.0 | Today, we're talking about the shame that a lot of people feel when they're |
| 1:06.5 | inside of a toxic relationship dynamic with a narcissistic person. |
| 1:10.1 | The shame of going back, the shame narcissistic person. The shame of going back. |
| 1:12.4 | The shame of not leaving. |
| 1:14.1 | The shame of staying or keeping the kids around toxicity. |
| 1:18.3 | So many people feel y'all. |
| 1:20.0 | Of course, if you knew here, my name is Lee Hammack. |
| 1:22.7 | I'm a diagnosed narcissist. |
| 1:23.7 | And welcome to another episode of the Narcissist's Co. |
| 1:27.0 | Let's get it. |
| 1:50.5 | Oh, I'm back. Oh, hey, I didn't see you there. What's going on, folks? |
| 2:01.2 | Welcome to another Lee Hammock Live and whatnot. Today, we're talking about the shame that people feel when you're dealing with a narcissistic person. |
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