On the difference between guilt and shame

The Therapy Edit

Anna Mathur

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 915 Ratings

🗓️ 16 October 2023

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this solo episode of The Therapy Edit, Anna unpacks the emotions that are guilt and shame and helps listeners understand how guilt can (occasionally) steer us to be better mothers but shame serves us no purpose at all. She also offers practical advice about how to recognise each emotiion and make sure you're not beating yourself up unhelpfully.

We hope it's a helpful episode and as always ask you to rate, review and subscribe.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to the Therapy Edit Podcast with me Psychotherapist Anna Martha.
0:07.0	I'll be bringing you weekly 10 minute episodes to encourage and support your emotional well-being.
0:15.2	Welcome to a solo episode of the therapy edit today.
0:19.0	It is me coming at you with a little bit more on one of my favorite topics in motherhood, which is
0:27.2	guilt. Now I love talking about guilt because I think when we don't address guilt it oh my gosh gill has a lot to say for itself
0:37.2	doesn't it and we don't address guilt we can start feeling and deserving of
0:41.8	our good things. We can start feeling and deserving of
0:45.8	support. There are moments I look back and reflect on in parenting that I feel so
0:51.2	much guilt towards that just make me want to continue kind of paying off
0:58.7	this guilt making up for things that I'm ashamed of that I've done moments that I've reacted in a way that I feel really bad about.
1:07.5	Guilt confined me just wanting to people please, wanting to really give myself as if it's a way of earning just deservedness for the good things that are in my life, deservedness for rest, deservedness for support,
1:26.7	deservedness for like and love that come towards me.
1:31.9	Guilt just can make us feel bad. And the one thing I want to share
1:39.7	with you about guilt is one thing that I feel you really need to know about guilt is one thing that I feel you really need to know about
1:46.4	guilt that you experience in motherhood and life in general but the next time guilt rises up in you, the next time that you recognize that you are feeling guilty.
2:00.0	I want you to think about this. Now I've got a line from my new book.
2:06.0	Raising a happier mother, it's actually got child crossed out in the cover. So it's like
2:10.5	raising a happier child crossed out mother is all about recognizing that I have a whole bunch of
2:19.5	parenting books on my bookshop so many books and they're all absolutely fantastic. I would love to just
2:28.0	be able to draw upon them in the moments that I need them. However, when we are burnt out as moms, when we're feeling
2:34.8	depleting guilty and we haven't addressed that when we're criticizing ourselves
2:39.1	and we're struggling to accept support and we with struggling with anxiety.
	...

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