NSFW Not Safe for Water (Did Pharaohs Masturbate into the Nile?)

The History of Egypt

Dominic Perry

Society & Culture, History

4.8 • 2.1K Ratings

🗓️ 4 July 2025

⏱️ 15 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Explicit content. There's a factoid floating around on the internet. It claims that, to ensure fertility and good harvest, pharaohs would annually masturbate into the River Nile. This claim is total bubkis, but where did it come from? Which deities and myths were most closely associated with such concepts? In this mini episode, we explore the factoid and its potential origins. Great gods of fertility and Creation: Allen, J. P. (1988). Genesis in Egypt: The Philosophy of Ancient Egyptian Creation Accounts. Epigraphic Survey. (1940). Medinet Habu, Volume IV. Festival Scenes of Ramses III. Available free via The University of Chicago. Maher-Taha, M., Loyrette, A.-M., & Sayed, S. (1979). Le Ramesseum XI: les fêtes du dieu Min. Olette-Pelletier, J.-G. (2023). Min, l’Horus victorieux: Le dieu Min au Moyen Empire (Vol. 33). Siuda, T. L. (2024). The Complete Encyclopedia of Egyptian Deities. Wilkinson, R. H. (2000). The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt.. Wilkinson, R. H. (2003). The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt. Examples of the factoid: Anonymous, Did Egyptian Pharaohs Masturbate into the Nile? Retrieved June 16, 2025, from https://getmegiddy.com/egyptian-pharaohs-masturbate-into-nile Margolis, J. (2003). O: The Intimate History of the Orgasm. http://archive.org/details/isbn_9780802117861 Menezes, R. (2022, March 21). Pharaohs Had the Grossest Ritual to Keep the Nile Running. Cracked.com. https://www.cracked.com/article_33015_pharaohs-had-the-grossest-ritual-to-keep-the-nile-running.html Taylor, M. (2021). You Know What We Should Bring Back? Ritually Jacking Off into Rivers. MEL Magazine. https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/ancient-egypt-masturbation-nile Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:30.5	Audi folks, Dominic here. This episode may not be suitable for all audiences. It includes a frank
0:36.5	and honest discussion of sexuality, both
0:39.3	human and divine. Please use discretion when listening to this episode. Thank you.
0:49.3	If you've spent any time on the internet recently, you may have come across a factoid about ancient Egyptian
0:55.3	religion. It appears in various forms, either memes or casual articles, but the gist is usually
1:01.5	the same. To ensure fertility and the annual flood cycle, ancient Egyptian pharaohs would stand
1:08.0	on the riverbank and publicly masturbate into the water.
1:12.7	One version from the clickbait website, Cracked, goes as follows. Quote,
1:18.4	Every year, in the last month of summer, during the Men Festival that celebrated the Pharaoh's
1:24.2	rule, the pharaoh would approach the Nile in a public ceremony. He'd take off his
	...

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