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Elvis Duran and the Morning Show ON DEMAND

No Sex in front of Elf on the Shelf

Elvis Duran and the Morning Show ON DEMAND

Elvis Duran Podcast Network and iHeartPodcasts

Comedy, Music History, Entertainment News, News, Society & Culture, Music

4.91.2K Ratings

🗓️ 10 December 2025

⏱️ 5 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Megan’s kindergarten teacher calls dad to say, her Elf on the Shelf may know a liiiiittle too much about mom and dad’s relationship.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is an I-Heart podcast.

0:02.6

Guaranteed human.

0:05.4

Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran.

0:07.8

The Elvis Duran phone tap.

0:09.7

I love a Danielle phone tap.

0:11.1

Oh, boy.

0:11.8

What do you have today, Daniel?

0:12.6

All right, so Carol is playing a tap on her husband, Chris.

0:15.4

I am calling as their kindergarten teacher for their daughter.

0:18.8

You know, they have Elf on the Shelf talk at school and we've got an issue. Your phone tap from Daniel. Let's listen in. Here we go. Hello. Hi, is this Megan's dad? Yeah, it is. Hi, this is Mrs. Porter from the kindergarten teacher from Middle East. Oh, yeah. What's up? All the kids come in every day and they talk about

0:38.2

their elf on the shelf and i know hers is named pippin and she was saying to the kids that she

0:44.2

heard mommy and daddy in the room where pippin was and mommy was screaming and she thinks santa is not

0:50.8

going to come now oh she told you this yes because and then i asked her because, and then I asked her, I said, well, what are you talking about? And she said, Pippin was in Mommy and Daddy's room in the morning hiding. And Mommy and Daddy were doing something, and Mommy was screaming. And I don't know. And then she started to make, like, moaning sounds. Like, Mommy was going, oh, oh. Did she say this in front of the class she said it in front of her

1:11.8

friends oh my god i mean what is going on at your house what do you mean what's going on at my house

1:17.3

are you guys doing it in front of the elf on the shelf what kind of question i think it's a very

1:23.5

planned to have sex in front of an elf we didn't i didn't forgot that thing was even there. It's just part of the holiday decoration.

1:29.3

I'm guessing, you know, you didn't even know she was listening. She probably got up to go to the bathroom or something. No, I had no idea she heard what was going on. But she did, and now every child in the kindergarten class also knows that the elf on the shelf saw mommy and daddy having sex. My daughter did something embarrassing.

1:42.8

I'm sorry, but this is not the way to handle it.

1:44.6

It's to call me at home.

1:45.6

My sex life is none of your business.

1:47.2

And I understand that, but this is not the way to

1:44.3

handle it.

...

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