No Jerk January

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.8 • 7.3K Ratings

🗓️ 5 January 2020

⏱️ 6 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

TWally and 2fineblaustein start the hardest thing they will ever do... No Jerk January. They also discuss how Michael hates the English language, how Trevor can talk like an Australian, and bad tasting semen. They also break down the age old question of who would win in a fight: the oompa loompas or the lollipop guild?

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Transcript

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0:00.0	He had a blanket. Where the fuck do they get off making those?
0:02.8	I love them. They're amazing.
0:04.8	You don't look at your blanket.
0:06.0	It's so weird.
0:07.2	The good for five minutes and then ten minutes later you're like,
0:09.6	It's too hot. This is an LSD.
0:10.8	And my head's gone wrong.
0:11.6	My head's been eating, bro.
0:14.4	That's why. Make a hotter blanket.
0:16.4	Yeah. Also the weighted blanket.
0:19.2	Hey, you lonely fuck.
0:20.8	Dude, have you ever tried one?
0:22.8	They are weird but they work.
0:26.0	But trying to get out of one is weird.
0:29.2	Get a friend.
0:32.0	I tried one. Dude, the fucking other than a girl's house that you have one.
0:36.4	It's heavy.
0:38.0	If you were to throw it in a hefty bag and throw it off a third story balcony,
0:42.8	that person's no longer with us.
0:45.2	They're heavy.
0:46.0	Oh no.
0:46.8	They're heavy.
	...

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