One thing I learned is that the greatest gift that God gave us was free will.

So if that is the greatest gift, then how can people always like with every fucking thing that happens?

They're like, well that's just how God wanted it, you know? Like, God, it was God's plan.

It was God's plan for you to like fuck that hooker and get herpes? Like no.

What's up guys? Welcome to the dark, angry, scary depths of hell. I'm your host Hannah Burner and today we are with my good friend.

I always pronounce your last name wrong, but we're gonna try it. Nick Vile. Great.

We met a couple years ago, I was interviewing you at Betges. We butted heads a little, but overall I think we respected each other.

Why do you say we butted heads? I was making fun of you and you're making fun of me, which is the root of a good friendship I think.

Sure. That's how I show affection. And then since then, I heard that we have a mutual friend, Nikki Glazer.

So let's get to the point. You were spotted in March at sauce with her. What's the deal? Is she pregnant? What happened? What's going on?

I hope so. No, Nikki's a friend. Did you know she had a stand-up joke about you? Were you flattered?

I haven't heard it, but I understand the premise is that she was trying to have sex with me.

And you respected her career. How could you?

I definitely did not say, I mean, I do respect her career for starters, but I don't think my response to her is we can't have sex. I respect your career.

No, I don't want to pull words in your mouth. But yeah, she's very cool chick. I hope I'm invited to the wedding. But yeah, the podcast is starting in light questions. Then it gets darker and darker.

And if you cry, it's okay. We've all seen you cry before. So it's fine. Also, Nick had me on his podcast asked Nick, when did you realize you were good at giving advice?

A long time ago. You were amazing because you were like the Simon Cowell of advice. Like you were hitting people where it hurt so too late.

I don't pull punches, but I do it with a level of kindness. Friends are terrible at giving you relationship advice because they're either afraid to tell you the truth or they're projecting their own bullshit.

True. And you know, I don't have a soul or a heart. And so even with my friends, it's just kind of like also, I think part of it is too. I just I've never really suffered fools and I'm fairly impatient person in general.

And I can be selfish. And so when other people have their issues, I just like, listen, I don't have time. Do you want to hear you wine and moan? Can I just tell you what's going on? And it's mostly self serving, right? Cause I don't want to like, I don't want to hear. Yeah, you bitch forever.

I was like refreshing to me because I was expecting some bullshit and you were just going straight to the point. And I think it's refreshing. Some questions we're getting. How did you get so good at selfies? Because you're incredible. Yeah, the lighting, the angles, a little bit of enough humor that it doesn't seem vain. Something I haven't been able to figure out.

Well, I do require great lighting. I think if my bio wasn't tolerant person, it would be requires great lighting. I feel like everyone feels this way about themselves. But me in particular, I feel like I could be quite fetching or truly disgusting looking.

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