Hey, part of my take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon music. On today's part in my take, week one of the NFL season. We're going to go through every single game, fastest two minutes. It was a crazy week one, topped off by an absolute stinker of Sunday night football. But we are going to talk about every single game.

We also, who's back in the week. We're going to talk a little college football. We have football guy of the week. It's back, baby. It's the favorite. It's the best thing that we do. We love doing these Monday shows for everyone. Football is all the way back and is brought to you by our friends at game time, the exclusive ticketing partner of bar stool sports game time is a ticketing app that makes it easier than ever to score last minute deals on tickets to sports concerts and shows and they guarantee the lowest price billy Broncos going to the Seahawks tonight. What is the get in price in Seattle? 72 dollars on the game time app to go boo or cheer Russell Wilson and

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Okay, let's go! And then a lot of stuff will work to be done No place to hang out or washing And then I can't play all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock it down too He'll have a shake, I value And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock it down too He'll have a shake, I value He'll have a shake, he'll have a blast He'll have a blast Welcome to part of my take. Is anybody? Barstool sports. Welcome to part of my take, presented by Game Time, the exclusive ticketing app for Barstool sports. Go check out Game Time right now. Today is Monday, September 12th. Week one. What? Rock City where the lions were feeling soupy as ramen raw St. Brown started hot but then cooled golf as their coach had a brain full of Dan Campbell's chunky chicken noodle soup after calling for an inopportune on-side kick. Speaking of chicken, Miles Colonel Sanders was playing chicken but Boston Market Scott had a side of mashed patitis as everyone was expecting a Russian attack from the Eagles but it was AJ Ava Brown that made Lions fans pop that cyanide capsule. Eagles 38, Browns 35. Down in Miami, where the Patriots lost the Battle of Bunker Hill as Tyree caught bombs from World War II. Mac Prescott Jones went down to Florida and got his ass kicked like it was Spring-Rink. Kendrick's soft-cored porn had a hard time doing hand-stop, unlike his owner, Robert Kraft. And Matt Lauer Patrisha is going to be locked in his office, reviewing film from this office as Wolf will perform its... Let's go down to the field with Eggcoach's Mike McDaniel for his first win in the NFL. Thanks Mike! Starflin 20, Patrick 7. What? What? Up to the metal lands where in a touching tribute to my good friend, Queen Elizabeth, though Ravens put their queen in the box during the Jets to throw. Rashad Patrick Bateman, money-lawnored Lamar Jackson's soil pants, and caught a touchdown from his quarterback. As Lamar Samuel L Jackson once famously said, I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane. And speaking of planes, Mark E. Mark Andrews was able to take down the Jets defensive attack with 52 yards receiving. Braxton, Leather Barrios, left a bad taste in everyone's mouth because the Jets ass again. Ravens 24 jets 9. Down to the Queen City. Now watch me pit. Now watch me Naje. But with three Miss Tacx the stinky legs belonged to the Steelers and the Bangles. It looked like a lady voles game out there with the original forms and missing paths. Devon George W. Bush was a weapon of past destruction as we did at Joe Burrow was biting his time in the pocket. Chris all's well, that pause well, get the game winner and overtime. And the Steelers take down the defending AFC champs. The Steelers, part of three,angles, play. Next door to the other Queen City, again, my personal friend Queen Elizabeth passed away. This week, at the right page of 96, I miss Lizzy so much, she was at the catch with me the Schwamm. In a touching tribute to their suspended teammate, the Browns forced the chub against the rule. Laker Mayfield couldn't find the magic as the bad blood was confirmed positive in Game Week press conferences and the Browns had full blown cades. York that is as the kicker nailed a 58 yarder for the win. Browns 26, Panthers 24. In Rao John Maryland, the Jaguars dropped in Trevor Lawrence to damn high. The Jags were pin deep, but Travis ATM was money. However, after all the wealth was spread around, momentum swung to the commies. Carson Wentzboro Baptist Church said, God hates Jags, as he went through the passing of the Christ to Antonio Mel Gibson and the Washington commanders are in the in column Puerto Rico Out in the NFC West, Mr. Abbey where the Kings buried if you want to see the Queen You're gonna have to look up to the Skymore and juju smish schuster was coughing the ball up But if you're looking for Paul Bears, you might want to get six Cardinals because they're sure to let you down. Greg Dorch. Huh? Huh? Huh? Went Dorch's turf in a losing effort as the Chiefs defense had Kyler Murray with no aim assist in the gulag running around with no plates. Learn from the lost failures. Failure's a prop on teacher.s 44, Cardinals 21. Sounds good. Up to the NFC Norse, where Aaron Rogers was missing a little LSD. Lazard, Scantling, and Devote, that is. Just 10 Jeffers in and Kirk Cousin were flying around as the Zina Soda vixens were saying Skull all Sunday and Packer fans were coping hanging about their team's lack of buzz. Probably wish Rogers didn't ditch that long cut boom. Great point, Teed. It's a new era in town as a Kevin O'Connell era starts with a dub. Barking's corner fairy, Packers' brother. Standing on a corner, Jamie Swinson down to no love, such a fine sight to see. Dirty birds, my lord, up onto the scoreboard and Jamie's throwing two-line tea. He's on a heater, that's my leader. He cut the lead in half. He's the original crab feeder. Spoiler boom. The Saints go marching 2726. And that was fastest two minutes back. Thank you to Chevy, our sponsor for the fastest two minutes. The Chevy Silverado is commanding unstoppable and powerful. It's always truck season here at PMT. But now it's also tailgate season with the Chevy Silverado. Brought to you by Chevy Silverado. Learn more chevy.com. Tell them PMT saying you get $100 off your brand new Chevy Silverado. That That was week one That was fucking awesome. I'm so glad that football's back. I listen We just watched an absolute stinker on Sunday night football And and we'll start with that game But let's not let it ruin how sick that witching hour was and how awesome watching all those games.

There was a moment there. We had two games that we thought were going to go to a tie and there was like four different plays that were all swung the entire how the game was going to be played out all at the same time. And we all were just like, we're losing our minds. We're back. I need a couple of weeks, I think, to get readjusted to watching that type of football because Because when every game was being switched back and forth, back and forth, back and forth

everywhere in all these TVs, I think, to get readjusted to watching that type of football. Because when every game was being switched back and forth, back and forth, back and forth everywhere in all these TVs, I was struggling to process all the data at once. My brain needs to get back into the reps. I've obviously been out of the game for, what, like, seven months now. I have her long. It's been since the Super Bowl. My brain struggled to keep up at times out there, but I loved it. I loved the rush. I miss it so much.

And yeah, the night game stunkunk but as far as cowboys losses go you can have boring cowboys losses or you can have cowboys losses that end in a hilarious injury with the jerry jones gets on the microphone and i don't think that hipa exists for jerry jones like he can just say whatever, right? He can be like, yeah, we're gonna have to cut it off.

Dax, Dax contract signing hand as far.

It's like, it's the best because if you're a beat writer

for the Cowboys, you never have to be like, oh, I got to work sources. I just have to show up to Jerry Jones, press conference. He immediately said like every other team like TJ what can't comes off the field says you

can read his lips saying I think I tore my pack.

Yeah, we still don't have an absolute like he hadn't done the MRI yet.

So we're still like oh maybe Leaving the hope for the fans. Yeah, Jerry I don't even think the game was over and he was just basically in front of a camera being like yep Doc broke his hand out for a few weeks sucks for us and now the cowboys I I mean my car is gone. gone, officially gone. I don't know what he was doing, punting. But the owl was just classic Mike McCarthy. He read, no one has ever done a better job at like pretending there's something like completely different than what they actually are when he went to the interview with Jerry Jones being like, I know analytics, I am new age now.

And then you flash forward and Mike McCarthy's down two possessions, punting with like six minutes left. There's phoning it in and then there's whatever Mike McCarthy's doing. And maybe he's caught in a situation where like we were talking about Coach O last week, where Coach O was so happy to get the buy out and get out of town. Like McCarthy, I think he's been trying to get fired for a while now. And he's doing everything that you would do if you were a coach trying to get fired. Knowing that Jerry Jones is just gonna hire Sean Payton probably already has a handshake deal Needs a couple seasons to let that cool off because I bet you Jerry Jones thought about just like firing Mike McCarthy two weeks after he hired him Yeah, after he like hung out with him enough and got his vibe. He's like this was a mistake. I want to fire him. Mike McCarthy definitely like spilled something

on one of Jerry Jones's couches,

probably farted in an inopportune time.

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