What up guys, we're back with two parts of this unbelievable conversation with my girl, Dr. Romany, where she's sharing with us her cheat sheet, if you will, of all her best strategies and tactics for dealing with the relentless manipulation and games that a narcissist will play. Now the odds are you've encountered a narcissist performing your life and whether it's someone in the workplace or someone in the home, whether it's family or a a significant other, each encounter with them can make you question your worth, ignore the warning signs, and even give up your power to them. But my girl, Dr. Raman is here, to help us learn how to effectively deal with the charm and lack of empathy of a narcissist. Why so important to listen to your body's response, which is something we sometimes ignore, and her three steps, to not cis-resistance, so that you can finally break free from their abuse. The reality is, guys, is that the narcissist will never change. Just like a leopard, it doesn't change its spots. So it's up to you to make a change and take your power back so you can live the life you want without losing your confidence or losing who you are. I'm your host Lisa Bilyu and this is Women of Impact let's dive in right now. And guys if you're listening to this one thing I do ask is would you mind just drop in a rate and a review you have no idea how much this means to me the podcasts the growth and spreading the word of women of impact I know I know all of, all of us podcasters ask for rating review, but

I'm telling you, if you're listening to this right now, if this episode is bringing you value, the value that you can bring back is by rating review. And that's how it actually gets spread. So, Mahalmi, let's get to number one on the podcast list with your help right now. Drop in a rate and review. Thank you. And now let's get to the episode. It's so interesting the power piece about the people think they would rather leave because you feel like you're taking your power back. And I would assume that in having the narcissistic leave the relationship, it's almost like serving their part of the another character that you talk about is their need for dominance and their need, you know, for the power. Exactly.

So they feel good about it because they feel like they have the dominance and power. Yeah. And so you're almost given them what they want so they never have to come back and correct. Well, I tell you an interesting way to think about it. I'm always amazed at how much people don't understand how divorces work. I really am. Now when you rent a car, it's like,

you read the things like, okay,

if I go through a toll, I have to pay this much.

It doesn't do. people don't understand how divorces work. I really am. Like, now when you rent a car, there's like,

you read the things like, okay,

if I go through a toll, I have to pay this much.

Yeah.

Because there's a day. The nice rental car people give you that contract. You can even read it ahead of time. You're like, okay, got it, got it, got it. Nobody reads that fine print on marriage. They don't. it's because we don't really give them the fine printout marriage.

And as a result, most people don't understand how a divorce works.

They don't understand community property.

They don't really give them the fine printout marriage. And as a result, most people don't understand how a divorce works. They don't understand community property. They don't understand pre-nuptial agreements. They don't understand custody. They don't understand any of it. Okay? Least of all the narcissists who are all so entitled that somehow they don't think that the divorce laws of their state apply to them. So this is something I've seen happen many times. The narcissistic person gets married, they don't have a prenuptial agreement. They find new supply, they get caught, relationship falls apart, okay? And the narcissist is like to hell with it, I'm out, I'm leaving. They've got their new supply and all of that.

And then they read the fine print.

Divorce attorney says, okay, well, the value of your house is this and that's half of this and the retirement account, this and the person's like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. You're telling me I have to give this person, I was married to all this money. And the attorney is like, yeah, that's how that's how the divorce works. In most states, we're in California.

I can only speak that's how that's how the divorce works

in most states. We're in California. I can only speak that's the only laws I've ever, you know, how to, my clients have gone through. So yeah, you're going to have to pay this money. And then our society person's like, well, that's not fair. And the guy's like, you married this person, right? The attorney's like, you married this person. You signed piece of paper, you married them. This is what you agreed to. I didn't agree to this.

Yeah, you did when you married them. It's a legal contract, okay? And then you know what the narcissist often do? They go back because of that because they don't want to do that. So then they'll do things like try to figure out new ways to be shady in the marriage but don't want want to leave it or they'll try to engage in post-nuptial agreement. But this is why it's drawing blood from a stone in a divorce because they're very oppositional. So it may very well be that a partner espouse that they encourage to leave the workplace, that our sister's to person took over the finances, that partner espouse might have supported them in their business, may have raised kids, whatever. Another thing I like to want to give them anything. That's classical, but they'll come back in if they don't want to give up the money. They just don't think that these rules apply to them, but then people get confused when they come back. And I have to say, I've seen this happen at least a half a dozen times, where the narcissistic person, for all their smarts, didn't really pay attention to what marriage really meant. And as the higher wage earner, that they were going to be in some financial obligation to this person that they were married to, these are long marriages, 20, 30 years plus. And it's the person foolishly sadly let them back in.

Because they thought they really wanted to come back after all. They would tell them, we built this life together. I'll change, I'll change. But when we were in therapy together, I'd have to say, you know, it was really, because they didn't want to give you that money. And they'll say, God, that now. And then they have to almost replay this whole process twice. Oh. And then they reenact everything that we've spoken about

in past episodes as well with,

they're hoovering you and they're... I think I've heard it all, and then I'll hear about one more of these narcissistic divorces and it's, and the way I've explained it to one client is, you know, she said, I was married to the sky for whatever, in one case, it was like to somewhere between 25 and 30 years.

And that the hard part for her to get her head around

...