What it developed for me is this idea of a warrior fighter, that anything good in my life is going to come from a strong fight and it's going to involve a lot of suffering.

That's the other piece and I don't know how true that is for

Indian families but Russian Jews we're amazing at suffering. You know there's a saying about

Russians I don't know if you've heard it, that Russians are good at three things,

suffering, making others suffer and complaining about suffering.

And it would be so much funnier if it wasn't true.

Like, it is so true. It is so true and Jews were fantastic of suffering too, so we, I really, I excel at suffering.

Like my family were blackbells, particularly the women.

And so there's what I grew up with and what really got ingrained in me is that

anything worthwhile has to come with suffering that if something is natural or

easy or I'm not working like non-stop for it it's not worthwhile and

so that is the thing that you know and it's not that I mean my parents all they've ever

wanted is for me to have a good life, to be happy, to be healthy,

to marry a good guy, to have a good job, to be able to take care of myself,

but it's not like my parents wanted me to suffer, but this is what I grew up with, that you're a fighter and anything

worthwhile you have to suffer for. And this also kind of created this thing in me, like even when things were good,

I like wouldn't allow myself to enjoy them

because, well, if something wrong, it's gonna go,

like something's gonna happen,

I'm gonna have to keep fighting, right?

And I hear this from so many other immigrants as well.

There's no idea of safety, right? And I don't mean physical safety, right? But there's

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