My little cousin accidentally sees me play an adult-only rated Xbox game, so his mum sues me.

So we were having a family reunion because my grandpa set it up, and he's one of those really

old radical hippie dudes, mid-80s, not the surfer type, obviously, but the existential ones.

Little did I know he got it from a lot of

green herb smoking in the 60s through 90s, and I'm honestly amazed he isn't dead. Okay, back on track.

Every time we had a reunion, the location would change from one of the family's houses to the next.

And this year, it was ours. So we were having a good party. I was upstairs

chatting with a friend on Xbox Live. Everybody could hear our conversation, but they were confused

when they came into my room, without knocking, very rude, to see only me. About three times that

night I heard an acknowledging, oh, like they'd just found a freaking cure to all

terminal illness. It was irritating. My friend and me weren't playing the same game, but we were just

having a casual chat, since my friend's parents were strict on curfew and wouldn't let him out

past nine. And then my freaking entitled aunt and her kid showed up, with about 5% battery left

on his Nintendo Switch. He was playing Smash Ultimate. If anyone asks, he was a bayonetta

mane, and I'm a King K. Rule Main. Enter this ridiculous circus of a conversation. My cousin

was whining, Mommy, Mommy, my game ran out, crying with crocodile tears.

Okay, honey, I'll get you something to play with. Oh, wait, there's my cousin. Hi cousin. Do you still

have your Xbox? This seems innocent at first, but let me give you some backstory. My cousin is a toxic

gamer.

He's 11, what did you expect?

I mean the radiation from the toxicity is instantly deadly as soon as he dies once on

Fortnite.

...