Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from two to five PM Eastern time on serious XM.

I'm 11. Jennifer, welcome to the program. Thank you, Dr. Loura for taking my call. A little background. I'm 53. My husband's 55.

We've been married for 27 years. We have one son that is 18, not to go off to college. And we have not had sex in three years.

He was a former police officer, so he worked a lot of shift work was always tired.

I felt like he was only a police officer for the last three years. No, he was a police officer probably for 15 years.

And then what did that have to do with the last three years?

He was very obese and he had this sleep procedure performed. So we had not had sex before.

He was a severely obese police officer.

Yeah.

They let him work as a police officer severely obese. How could he run after a bad guy? I agree. I agree.

Okay. Okay. So severely obese often don't have sex. And what can I do for you?

I don't. I when I was talking to him about our relationship every time I would bring up the intimacy issue, we would always get into an argument.

He didn't want to discuss it.

You know, I tried to do that. You have three choices. And one of them is not arguing with him about it. One is you leave.

The other is you stay and keep arguing.

The third is you stay and accept that you can be intimate on every other ground, but sexually.

That you can be friends. Confidence. Close.

That you're intimate in any way except sex because intimacy and sex are not necessarily.

Can't use those two words simultaneously necessarily. You know, because you can have sex with some guy you meet in a bar in the next 10 minutes.

That's not intimate. That's sex.

So those are your three choices. You got to give them a lot of thought to leave to stay and keep arguing and ruin the rest of the relationship.

So that the rest of it's unpleasant or three you stay and just accept that that part of the relationship is over.

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