Hello, hello everybody. I'm Lexi Lombard, host of the at Lexi broadcast. Thanks for tuning in.

I haven't been speaking much this morning, like less than usual so if my voice sounds, very morning voice-esque. That's why I also am a blubbery mess or have been for the last night. I've been

crying and crying and I'm not much of a crier. I hold a lot of my tears in and I just been so sad.

I don't know my mom has been resurfacing as a symbol. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. And she was in my dream last night and we were fighting. We weren't even fighting. I was just yelling at her, which is so unfair. If this is your first episode, I'm really just getting into it. I suppose I need a therapy

session I should really call my own therapist but the personal is the

Universum and there are some weeks some days because this hasn been a bad week. I have not had a bad week. I've had a good week. Happy Monday, by the way.

I think it's President's Day, so maybe you're having a holiday. So if you're having the day off, I hope you're loving it. I hope you're doing exactly what you want. I'm just in a little, I feel

fragile. I'm in a fragile state right now. A blind spot has surfaced on an emotional blind spot. I don't know how long it's

been there which is making me feel like I don't trust myself. One of my ways of discovering or solving problems

whenever there's an issue in my life is sometimes I will focus on a detail and I'll get really, really granular and think that the issue is,

I'm trying to think of another example because I don't need to talk about my mother

this entire episode, nor do I want to, it just feels, it's just so heavy and I know I could, I know that there's amazing people out here listening

that are endless amounts of support but I'm trying to think of another detail

Essentially what I'm trying to say is that I will allow

a very small moment

to be the reason and the problem.

When in reality that small detail is truly a symptom of a much larger issue

that I have not been dealing with.

And when I realize that the detail I'm focusing on is a part of a larger issue, I beat myself

up for not realizing that I didn't see the big issue earlier. And I'm having one of those moments now where I'm

feeling really fragile and I'm feeling really weak and I'm not trusting myself

...