MPF292: Managing Kids Activities

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Mike and Alicia Hernon : Catholic Marriage Parent and Family

Parenting, Parent, Podcast, Marriage, Religion & Spirituality, Catholic, Christianity, Kids & Family, Family

5 • 739 Ratings

🗓️ 15 July 2024

⏱️ 77 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Play is the work of childhood.

Summary

It seems like in today’s world, parents are judged by how many activities their kids are in and how committed the whole family is to those activities. We see this as leading to complete burnout for parents, but more importantly, it robs children of the joy of unsupervised, spontaneous time to just play. We explain in this podcast what play is and why it is so important for children to engage in. The beautiful thing about play is that parents should NOT be involved! It is one thing that we can do for our kids that requires less of us, not more. Parents need to learn that kids must take risks, make choices, and be independent from adults. And this means less supervision, not more. Listen in to this conversation where we try to strike a balance between keeping kids busy in a healthy way and giving them space to be bored and make good choices.

Key Takeaways

Play is essential for a child’s development. It is “freely chosen and directed by the participants and undertaken for its own sake, not to achieve something” - Dr. Peter Gray
You need to be intentional about choosing your child’s activities based on their developmental needs.
Kids under 12 really don’t need structured activities - only do them if they work for your lifestyle and are not a cause of stress in the family
Don’t allow external forces to impose false expectations on your involvement.
Encourage your child to persevere even if an activity is difficult or not what they expected, but have the common sense to know when enough is enough.
Know the adults that are around your child recognizing that especially in the teen years these people can become mentors for them for good or for bad.

Couple Discussion Questions

Share with your spouse your experience with structured activities (sports, theater, lessons, etc). What would you like to repeat? What would you like to avoid?
What activities are our children involved in? Are they developmentally appropriate for them?
How can we encourage more play among our children? Are there other families who would join us in this?

Resources:

Play Deprivation Is A Major Cause of the Teen Mental Health Crisis

By JON HAIDT AND PETER GRAY

https://www.afterbabel.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=web

Transcript

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0:00.0	Family, all in this together.
0:08.2	Family, we're taking a chance.
0:10.8	Family, like birds of a feather.
0:13.3	Family, get off my shoes and dance.
0:15.4	Hey, we are Mike and Alicia Hernin.
0:17.4	We have 10 kids and grandkids too, and we are here for every parent. Because we are on a
0:22.2	mission to empower moms and dads to embrace their sacred calling. So join the conversation.
0:27.6	Hey, thanks for joining us on today's podcast. This is going to be an exciting, I think, and very pertinent and relevant topic.
0:40.8	It's something that people ask us about a lot. It is. They say, how do you do it all?
0:45.2	And it's a plague or it's a challenge. It's a struggle.
0:49.2	Plague may be a strong word, but it can be. No, in some communities, though. In some communities,
0:53.8	it can be. Yeah, not for you, though. In some communities, it can be.
0:54.4	Yeah, not for you, listener, but in our world.
0:58.1	Okay.
0:59.4	Dear listener, who says that?
1:02.0	But, but, but, but, but there is something in our world today that we feel as parents a,
1:08.8	a, um, a burden or, or an expectation that we have to make sure that our
1:14.7	kids are performing at this level. High performing kids is our main job. It is our parents. And it's
1:20.9	ingrained into us, right? Because there aren't expectations for all these other areas. I think it's
1:25.2	ingrained by our culture, not by nature. And there is some beauty to that. And there's some goodness in wanting to be excellent or what have you, for sure.
1:32.8	And wanting to help your kids develop their gifts and be the best that they can be.
1:36.1	But there can be a stress and a burden that's added to us, another weight that's added upon us.
	...

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