Motivating Yourself with Self Love vs Self Criticism (Encore)

Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self Love Podcast for Women

Mary Jelkovsky

Self-love, Body-image, Mental Health, Body Image, Relationships, Women's Health, Self Love, Advice For Women, Self Love For Women, Love Yourself, Education, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.8 • 721 Ratings

🗓️ 9 January 2025

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Self-criticism is NOT a good long-term motivation strategy. Let’s talk about how to motivate yourself with self-compassion instead. Tune in to learn... Why you might be feeling de-motivated A technique called “10 WHYs” to find intrinsic motivators How to employ self-discipline (but not in the way that you think…) Tools to find and create motivation through a lens of SELF-LOVE Remember: You don’t need to wait until you’re perfectly motivated to start taking action. Imperfect, messy, reluctant action will often be enough to prove to yourself that you CAN do it, that you DO have it in you which creates a positive feedback loop. Micro steps matter. If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's book, The Gift of Self-Love. It’s a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. Mentioned In This Episode... Self-Compassion Researcher Dr. Kristin Neff on Mary's Cup of Tea The Mere Presence of One’s Own Smartphone Reduces Available Cognitive Capacity Research Study

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, my self-lovers. Welcome to another episode of the Mary's Cup of Tea podcast. Today, we're going to
0:06.4	talk about how to motivate yourself in a self-loving way, of course, just like with everything on
0:14.0	this podcast, we approach things through a lens of self-compassion and self-love and really trying to tap into that place of like,
0:23.1	I am enough, I accept myself for who I am, and because I accept myself for who I am,
0:30.1	I can also do things that I want to do and make changes that I want to make and accomplish
0:36.8	goals that I set out to accomplish,
0:38.6	but no longer from a place of criticizing myself, beating myself up, comparing myself to others,
0:45.6	being down on myself for the things that I didn't get to or couldn't get to.
0:50.4	And I think that we all know, or at least I hope that you know, if you don't know, I'm about to tell you right now, that self-criticism is not motivating.
1:01.3	I don't know where we got this idea that talking shit to ourselves is going to miraculously help us be better humans when in reality, all it does is make us feel
1:13.2	like shit. And this idea has actually been extensively studied by a researcher named
1:20.3	Dr. Kristen Neff, who has been on the podcast before. Her episode is number 32, and it's called
1:26.9	Tools for Self-Compassion.
1:28.9	And one of the things that was just life-changing for me to read in her book is that this exact
1:34.5	concept, that self-compassion is just as motivating, if not more so, than self-criticism.
1:42.4	She writes in her blog, Dr. Kristen Neff, writes, self-compassionate people have more
1:47.8	intrinsic motivation in their lives, trying hard because they want to learn and grow, not because they
1:55.8	need to impress themselves or others. And I think that that is so powerful that when it comes to motivation,
2:02.6	it really does matter where it's coming from. Are you going to be able to get stuff done if
2:08.3	you're using revenge as motivation? Sure, but you risk feeling empty at the end because you weren't really doing it for yourself. You were doing
2:19.8	it to prove something to someone instead of doing things for the sake of creating meaning in your
2:26.4	life, making yourself proud, keeping promises to yourself, really feeling fulfilled
	...

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