4.8 • 32.8K Ratings
🗓️ 11 August 2014
⏱️ 63 minutes
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0:00.0 | Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, August 11th, |
0:08.5 | 2014 Jesus fucking Christ. I was gonna record this thing Sunday night, it's Sunday afternoon, |
0:17.3 | you know all of a sudden, you know, I got invited to a fucking pool party. |
0:24.0 | Now I love the pool. I love the sun. I love slimming and all that, but I don't like going to pool parties. |
0:32.0 | I like going to a pool with his offense and no one can see me in my pasty body. |
0:37.0 | So I'm gonna go over there and look like a fucking giant piece of chalk and a pair of fucking swim shorts. |
0:44.0 | But so I figured maybe I'll have a couple of beers at which point, you know, old man like me sitting in the sun drinking some beers. |
0:51.0 | This podcast would be an absolute shit show. And some of you probably think, oh, you know, you should have done it. |
0:58.0 | Dude, dude, that would have been epic. Make a complete ass of yourself as opposed to the usual. |
1:04.0 | Go fuck yourself. Get some goddamn friends. You know, get some fucking friends and watch them making ass of themselves. |
1:12.0 | Not this guy. Not this guy. Not this week. See, point to himself slapping himself in the chest. |
1:19.0 | I actually, you know, a lot of people don't realize this. I could have been an Olympic swimmer, but I just couldn't get over the embarrassment I had in the shame of standing in front of crowd of people. |
1:34.0 | With my pasty torso and legs, my giant head, but, you know, in my little Tommy Lee leather underpants that I'm gonna fucking wear as you're fucking swimming across the pool. |
1:46.0 | I was actually a really good swimmer. You know, I was really good swimmer. |
1:51.0 | Oh, I could have been a professional swimmer. Is fucking versi still going off on this shit? Classic versi. I didn't know where I'm minding my own business. Paul Versi, by the way, from the Versi Effect podcast. |
2:04.0 | He just out of nowhere. He makes a classic Versi statement, which is it's just it's through the fucking roof. Through the stratosphere right out into the goddamn Milky Way. |
2:17.0 | He said, no sport in history will ever be as psychological and as mental as golf. He could have just said is a psychological as golf. |
2:28.0 | But he was trying to sound smart. So we had and as mental. Nothing could be as sugary and sugarish as a sugar cookie. Thank you, Paul. |
2:43.0 | So of course, I got to knock him down. I got to knock down the statements. And this is what I wrote back. I wrote Pussy's. |
2:50.0 | Sissy is sport ever complete waste of time. And I just started going off on it. And he was trying to defend it. He goes, well, dude, you know, maybe if you played it, if you played it, you've understand it's like I've played it. I cadied for three summers. |
3:06.0 | You know, it's fucking it's exercise for nerds. That's all it is. I'm not saying that the people at the top fucking level that some of them aren't good athletes. |
3:19.0 | Okay, but I think the average professional golfer would you want to see Phil Mikkelson throw a football? You know, I'm not maybe he could maybe he could surprise some people, but you just generally speaking, look at that guy. |
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