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Monday Morning Podcast

Monday Morning Podcast 10-14-13

Monday Morning Podcast

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.734.1K Ratings

🗓️ 15 October 2013

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill rambles about Christopher Columbus, Steroids and hitting on your male boss. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, October 14, 2013. How's it going? How are you? Is everything okay? And you're neck of the woods?

0:14.0

I know what you're thinking right off the bat. Jesus built this podcast is even later than it usually is. Well, I would counter.

0:23.0

Okay, I would counter that verbal assault by saying, well, didn't you have the fucking day off today? Well, did you? Well, great, because I did too.

0:33.0

I don't know why. Oh, it's Columbus Day. Right? Columbus Day. It's Columbus Day. He came over here. There was already people.

0:44.0

He cut off the fucking hands because they couldn't find gold. And we celebrate him because he was kind of white, even though I think he was from Spain.

0:52.0

And if he came to Boston and tried to get a job, he'd be really fucked with most of the people he'd interview with.

1:00.0

What's going on? So yeah, today it's Columbus Day. Christopher Christopher Columbus. Sorry, I went to the brood today.

1:09.0

I had a couple of beers. All right. So deal with me. Christopher fucking. Hey, Chris, hey, get on the fucking boat. Do the job.

1:16.0

We paid your four Christopher Columbus. All right, discovered America for all you, all you people who have never picked up a history book.

1:27.0

He sailed the ocean blue. He thought he was going to the West Indies. This is like the once was a man from the Nantucket.

1:37.0

There once was a man from Spain. Oh, yeah, it is balls of pain. He couldn't get laid. He tried every day. So he said, fuck it.

1:49.0

I'm going to sail. So I have something to talk about. I don't know guys. This is funny to me. And I'm buzzing pretty fucking good. And I really don't give a shit.

1:58.0

I do give a shit. I care. I care about you. And how did you enjoy Columbus Day? What did you do? Did you put on like a fucking George?

2:06.0

George Washington Wig and stand on the neck of the Tannis person that you know in celebration of all the great things he did.

2:13.0

I've always had difficulty. Once I got past a certain age with the fact that that guy they said he discovered.

2:20.0

He discovered like he discovered it for Europe. He didn't discover it. There was already people here. You know what I mean?

2:27.0

Just sitting here living off the land, you know, a little mudslap over their junk, using up every bit of the animal. They did nothing wrong.

2:37.0

That's the over correction of Native Americans where they've now become like these God-like people where none of them were bad.

2:44.0

You know, none of them would have fucked you out of your 401k money. Had they understood what a 401k was and could tie a tie.

2:53.0

I mean, people are people. Let's get down to brass tax here, people. Just because you're sitting there flossing with a fucking bison tendon doesn't mean that if you had a car, you wouldn't get a little grabby on the first date.

3:11.0

Okay, and if you can't do the math on that, I can't help you. Yeah, it's Christopher Columbus Day. Mary Go Vist Bucci. Remember all that fucking awful history stuff? You sitting there with half a fucking erection.

3:25.0

Look at some chick next to you and there's some guy in a goddamn tweed coat talking about Vinny Del Negro. What was the other guy?

...

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