I noticed this in my own experience and I noticed it in thousands of mothers that have spoken

to me over the years that those early years of motherhood really do bring up a lot in us

and stir up a lot in us. I think it's so cruel in a way that that is also the time when we

have the least resources.

We're sleep deprived. We're exhausted. We're trying to figure out this matressence thing and who

the hell am I now. And now all this old grief from when I was, you know, wiring, growing,

trying to attach to whoever was around. That's all coming up. And I was wondering,

how did you hold space for that? And maybe more with your therapist, how on what advice do you

have for people who are in that place but can't quite access the space or even the headspace

to get to it? I think something that's so important to remember

is that sometimes our needs are bigger than our capacity,

and we may not always have the capacity to tend to all the needs that we have

in any given circumstance.

Early postpartum definitely being one of them.

Anyone who's a parent has way more needs than they're able to actually meet during those times because of the urgency

of keeping this tiny human alive and doing the very basic things that often require all the

energy that we have. So I think one thing is shifting our expectations

and allowing ourselves to accept that we may not be able to get to everything in the time frame

we think we're supposed to, which includes grieving, which includes feeling our feelings,

which includes doing the work that we need to do in order to move through whatever comes

up for us in those moments. Some of those things may have to come at a later time, and I think

we need to allow ourselves the grace to know that we can honor what's there while not having

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