Every single year I set myself the same goal in February and the goal is simple, it's

to get in good physical shape.

And every year thankfully I achieved that goal until September.

And by October my motivation to work out to eat well and to be healthy seems to transform

from this like tangible object that I can hold on to to sand slipping through my hands.

By January the following year all hell has broken loose in my diet.

I'm basically fat compared to how I usually am.

My energy is lower, my sleep isn't as good, I just don't feel my best anymore.

Then February comes around again and March comes around and I set myself the same goal

to get in shape and the cycle repeats itself.

This has happened to me, I'd say every year for at least the last five years in a row.

And I've not been able to understand from a psychological perspective why this is happening.

And with all things in life until you become conscious of what's causing you to behave

the way that you are, you're merely just a puppet.

And the puppet master remains this unknown force, this experience you had at some point,

you know, a facet of your psychology, one that usually doesn't have your best interests

at heart, one that usually can't be trusted.

A puppet master that certainly isn't working for you.

He's working for your insecurities or for your ego or for trauma that you've experienced.

The same cycle unfortunately started to repeat itself this year.

I mean, I started the year, fat January time, I was pretty fat compared to how I usually

am, walking, can feel the little rolls on my belly shaking as I walk and I'm wearing

...