Miss Connection

Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke

Melissa Radke

Eatcake, Religion & Spirituality, Redribbon, Eatcakebebrave, Ordinarypeople, Christianity, Thissucksbutgodisgood, Thissucks, Comedy, Ordinarypeopleordinarythings, Melissaradke

5 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 3 March 2020

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dr. Justin Coulson is an honorary fellow at the Center for Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne. He has three best-selling books about family life and parenting. He writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, family, and well-being. He's a TEDx speaker and a regular TV expert guest. He's a contributor to major Australian media outlets. He's also contributed to the New York Times.

He had a successful radio career and then returned to school in his late 20's where he earned his psychology degree and his PhD in psychology. Since then he has written multiple peer-reviewed journal articles and scholarly book chapters. He is also a highly sought-after international speaker delivering keynote speeches and workshops to boost well-being and improve relationships for parents, teachers, students and employees and students.

I discovered Dr. Coulson through a friend's social media. When I saw his post, I just thought that he was doing good. He's not yelling fire in a crowded theater, he's getting to the heart of our teens. He's specifically getting to the heart of our daughters, because he's the father of six daughters. Dr. Coulson has written a book called Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter 'Hates' You, Expects the World and Needs to Talk. You are going to love this interview and how he gets emotional talking about our girls.

Show Notes:

[07:55] During conferences Dr. Coulson is consistently getting messages about how the world is destroying our teenagers. His experience is that they aren't dealing with these mass challenges.
[09:14] The problems facing our teens are actually more mundane problems.
[09:50] Parents and teens are just wanting to connect and get along.
[10:29] Miss-Connection is ultimately about the deep desire our children have to be close to us and we have to be close to them.
[11:59] Dr. Coulson interviewed and surveyed around 400 teenage girls. Their voices are front and center in the book.
[13:17] Why we parent matters more than how we parent.
[15:29] If my why is around developing this child into the best human that they can be that means that when they're being challenging I'm going to be more compassionate.
[18:36] We need to see our children's behavior as opportunities to connect. When a child is being challenged, they are going to be challenging. We need to find the best in them.
[20:44] You can show your child that if you can name it, you can tame it.
[21:41] Keep giving our children these moments because they do want the connection. Give them some time and space and keep trying.
[22:52] We need to be our kids' ally and have stretched out arms and compassion.
[27:08] Friendship challenges are difficult for our daughters. There is a constant realignment for girls in their peer groups.
[28:32] Girls are much more likely to ruminate about relationships.
[29:52] Research tells us that our daughters need to go through an identity finding process during adolescence. Kids need an opportunity to do the deep inner work that comes from quiet contemplation. There are too many distractions.
[31:46] The whole family should come together and talk about values.
[36:02] When we invest the time, kids feel the love.

Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you.

Links and Resources:

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hi y'all, you're listening to ordinary people, ordinary things, with me your host, Melissa Radke,
0:06.7	the ordinariest of us all. So let me tell you a little bit about this week's guest.
0:19.0	Dr. Justin Coulson is an honorary fellow at the Center for Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne.
0:28.0	I know right?
0:30.0	And he's on this podcast. The list goes on.
0:33.0	He has three best-selling books about family life and parenting.
0:37.0	He writes, he consults, and he teaches about
0:40.0	the intersection of psychology with family, well-being and child development.
0:44.5	He's a TEDx speaker. He's a regular TV expert guest. He's a regular contributor to most of the major
0:51.5	Australian media outlets.
0:54.0	Oh, and also, you know, an occasional contributor
0:58.1	to the New York Times.
1:00.7	Yeah, me too, Justin Coulson. Me too. But aside from all of that, let me tell you where I met him. My mother
1:08.4	says that social media is going to be the demise of civilization. But thanks to social media, mother.
1:14.6	This is how I found Dr. Coulson.
1:16.6	Literally a girlfriend of mine found him
1:19.1	and shared something on his page one day,
1:21.9	and I followed him. And then I asked her, asked her I was like hey how did you hear about him and she's like well a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend.
1:26.7	I mean that's how it happens right and so we've listed of course everything that you can ever find him on social media you can locate him it's all in the
1:34.7	show notes of course but that's just how it happens and once in a while you come
1:39.2	across somebody who you just go they they're doing good.
1:43.0	Not like they're becoming successful, they're doing so good for their pocketbook,
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Melissa Radke, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Melissa Radke and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.