Before we get into it, I have ONE coaching spot open for the new year! Is it you? You can read more about it HERE.  Have you ever seen or heard the quote, “How you do one thing is how you do everything”? Well, I’m here to tell you that, no, it’s not.  In this minisode, I’m riffing on the notion that when someone is faced with a conflict, that it’s then you find out who they “really are”, their “true colors”, or their “true character”. It’s easy to jump to deciding that someone is terrible based on how someone acts and treats you during conflict. When we see someone acting out of character, we want a reason for it. It’s unusual, and we want to make sense of it.  And maybe you’ve been that person!  When I was going through a terrible divorce in 2006, I was not my best self. At times I was vindictive, mean, and I lashed out. Does that make me a mean, vindictive person? No, it makes me a normally kind human being who’d just been traumatized, didn’t have the coping skills to deal with what she was going through, was in a tremendous amount of pain and fear and often was acting from that place.  That will happen to all of us.  I also get into the topic of compassion, both for yourself when you’re in this place, and for other people. This is NOT to say you can let people treat you badly, but you can see where they’re coming from and set boundaries.  Resources from this episode:  Coaching with Andrea Re-parenting and inner-child work with Cybele Botran Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Show link: http://andreaowen.com/570 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices