Meeting Your Soulmate (While Married) and Breaking Free From "Good Girl" Conditioning with Amber Rae

Self-Helpless

Crossover Media Group

Comedy, Science, Alternative Health, Health & Fitness, Education

4.8 • 3K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2025

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Delanie Fischer is joined by Amber Rae, author of Loveable, to unpack what it was like to meet her soulmate—while still married to her ex-husband. Amber shares her feelings about experiencing a lonely marriage, the days leading up to her decision to leave, how she transformed internalized shame, where she and her ex-husband are now in life and love, and lessons learned—as well as those still a work in progress. This episode offers a very honest perspective on the sometimes messy, imperfect ways relationships can start and end, and what can keep us stuck in environments that aren’t meant for us.

Plus:

+ 3 Game-Changing Tips for Writers and Creatives

+ What Your Anger Might Be Telling You

+ Amber's Favorite Journaling Exercise

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm no good. I take in good advice and I'm self-careless so don't tell me twice that lately I've been so
0:11.8	stuck in my head that I forget just about everything my therapist said. Maybe I'm self-helpless. Hey everyone, welcome to self-helpless. I'm self-helpless.
0:25.6	Hey everyone, welcome to self-helpless. I'm Delaney Fisher. And today I'm chatting with Amber Ray, who is the author of Lovable. And this newest book of hers that comes out tomorrow
0:31.5	is about her experience, falling in love with someone while she was married to somebody else.
0:36.8	So we're talking about a lot of
0:38.5	stuff today, the feelings and logistics that arose because of this decision to leave her marriage
0:44.2	at the time. You'll hear more in a second, but she describes her marriage with her ex as a strong
0:49.3	friendship, but that it was lacking the romantic part of a relationship that she wanted. But she had gotten so used to telling herself that it was fine, everything was okay.
0:59.9	She was used to being a bit detached from her feelings and pushing things down.
1:04.9	And it didn't become very obvious how much she desired something different until a man befriended her and her husband
1:13.9	at this time. So we're touching on the days leading up to this decision to leave her marriage,
1:19.4	the moment she knew she wanted to leave, the thoughts she had about herself throughout the whole
1:23.9	process, you know, internalizing feelings of shame and being a homewrecker
1:28.5	and ultimately how she decided to speak to herself instead. The insecurities she felt with somebody
1:34.1	knew, where she's at today when it comes to a romantic relationship where her ex-husband is at
1:39.2	today and lots more. And Amber also shares how many people reach out to her to basically say,
1:45.7	hey, this happened to me too, or I'm currently in a marriage that lacks physical intimacy,
1:51.1	and I crave that, or just lacks intimacy in general. And her sharing her story is helping
1:57.7	others get really honest about their own situations and make decisions that
2:02.1	are ultimately better for everyone involved, where everyone can feel loved and desired
2:07.2	or connected, whether that's on their own or with somebody else.
2:11.2	We also get into what kept her in this marriage in the first place. I ask her about her
	...

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