What makes a hero? Fearlessness in the face of danger?

Hair that's perfect after flying through a burning building?

Colorful tights?

Or is it making everything possible?

Working tirelessly to make the financial year end?

No thought for anything but the success of your clients.

Yes! The hero is you, accountants and bookkeepers everywhere. And QuickBooks

Accounting Software is here to support you. Into It's QuickBooks for the hero behind the heroes.

It's the late show poncho with Stephen Colbert. If you watch the show, you know, once in a while, I wake up right over there in the middle of a news storm where my topical fan boat slammed into a haunted current events orphanage, then staggered drunk through the reality swamp, slamming moonshine and cough medicine while lashing jokes to rotting scraps of story timber

so I can hunker down inside the rickety but reassuring castaways giggle tent that is my monologue.

But sometimes, just sometimes folks, the sky's clear and word reaches me of a drunk moose

that broke into a Yankee candle. What's that? A Florida man got his penis stuck in a vending

machine? And I frolic toward the warmth and safety of the gleaming fortress of stupid that is my segment.

Meanwhile.

Love it. That's a flip. That's an inversion layer right there. That did, see Tom's brother?

I'm like, yep.

Meanwhile, whiskey brand Fireball plans to collect heartbroken football fans' tears for their new whiskey.

Well, that's one way to announce you're doing a collaboration with the Jets.

Meanwhile, movies.

The only art form that can make us laugh, cry, and say, wait, is this movie about Spider-Man's uncle's co-worker?

According to a top historian, Gladiator 2 is total Hollywood BS, due to historical inaccuracies, including a scene where a Roman noble is shown reading the morning newspaper 1,200 years before the invention of the printing press. Even worse,

he's reading Kathy. Meanwhile, Starbucks is bringing back handwritten names in Sharpie on cups.

...