It's the late show's hot show with Stephen Colberg.

No, folks, I spent most of my time over there on the news kitchen,

slowly melting the finest, most topical bordier butter

to saute story potatoes and some leaks thrown in soil

of the pH of 6.5 before.

Adding margariment time and finishing with Don,

they send cream to offer you the delicate,

full-bodied vichy swas that is my monologue,

but sometimes, folks, just sometimes I'm pecked awake by a seagull

in the commissary of an abandoned oil rig,

where I chuck half a discarded corn dog, an apple core,

and 19 stale fritos into a slop-sink of expired yuhu

to serve you up.

The seized squatters, wino goulash of news that is my segment.

Meanwhile, sometimes it's all you need, baby.

It's comfort food.

Come to data.

Meanwhile, a new rapid test could tell you

if there's salmonella in your chicken.

We've already got a test for whether there's salmonella

in your chicken, and let me tell you,

the results come out pretty rapidly.

...