The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

Hello everyone and welcome to a much more distinguished my brother, my brother and me,

an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy.

Salutations. I am your middle-aged brother. Travis McElroy, now let me sip this tea.

Kind of warmest greetings in regards. I'm professor Griffith McElroy.

Professor. My voice sounds different not because I'm sick, but because I'm distinguished and

talking to you through a mahogany pipe full of rich and sweet tobacco. Yes, we are of course

a little different because now we are, how you say, authors. We've been on a book two hour,

as they say in the biz. We've gone through the change that happens once you have published.

It's called Poverty. Poverty? Because we've been public. Thank you.

And now we are, now that you have seen, we are number one New York Times bestselling authors

on the paperbook list. They make you mention that. And some people say, yeah, a lot of people

will say paperback, but when you're number one author, they let you say it incorrectly.

So you have to forgive Justin for his confusion. We've had nothing to eat for the past 12 days,

but fresh baguettes and lack of vitamins is really starting to get just capacinos and fresh

baguettes. So many capacinos. Some people have said, so you're a bestselling author now,

I have to tell them anyone on the list is a bestseller. I am a number one bestselling author of a book

my dad mostly wrote. I mean, they leave before my son is even finished. I went to college for five

years because I got a de-inspired. Anybody can be a New York Times bestselling author. I mean,

...