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All right, let's get after it.

My brain has definitely changed over the years. When was a kid and I get in a fight with

somebody, a wrestling match, a little scuffle on the playground with my siblings or whatever,

and then we get hauled before the authority figure.

In my head, the thing that I was sure that that authority figure in my head the thing that I was sure that that

authority figure would need to know and would be most interested in knowing right

off the top would be who started it and the answer was always them they started it? And the answer was always them. They started it there. I think we're finished here, but weirdly that never got good results.

Not from a parent, I'm from a teacher, an administrator, nobody was like, oh!

Well, if they started it, then I think we're finished here you can go on with

your merry way and I'll just deal with the the starter over here no there's always this

lesson that came after that it was like hey, but you were both punching each other. And so it's not like starting it

makes you into a puncher like you're some pre-programmed punching factory. You made choices you got worked up too and the good authority

figures in my life would always want to break that down and try to bring about

meaningful reconciliation by pointing out the flaws that we both brought to the equation, even if those flaws weren't a neat 50-50,

and even if frankly somebody maybe was a little more culpable of the two.

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